Dear Carla,. I fear my grown-up children are taking advantage of me. I feel like I am always expected to drop everything for them and if I don't, they tell me I don't love them, or they say that they will stop talking to me. I once explained to my son, 28, that I couldn't look after my granddaughter because I had to work. He told me I should be thankful for the opportunity and that if I couldn't babysit then maybe they should cancel our granny-bubba dates. These take place every other Saturday afternoon and I cherish them so much.
Then there is my youngest daughter - she is 25 and always needs money. My eldest daughter, who is 32 and independent, says she is using me and I should cut her off, but I don't want to let her down. She makes promises about paying me back but always asks for more money before the last debt is settled. She has a job so I really don't know where it all goes.
As for my eldest, who I just mentioned, she stands on her own two feet but I sense her frustration when I am unable to help her in the rare moments she needs it. It's not because I don't care; I'm just always juggling the other two and their problems.
I love my children so much but can't help but think I must have made some terrible mistakes along the way for them to act like this. From, a confused mother. Relationships with adult children can be difficult and confusing. Sometimes parents are unhelpful, but sometimes children take advantage of their kindness, says Dr Carla Marie Manly.
