Dear Jane,. My family sat down to watch a movie last night but we ended up having an ugly argument that has left me with a lingering bad feeling. My husband and I were joined by our 17-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter – and as we tried to pick a movie, things got heated. My daughter suggested we watch 'It Ends With Us', to which I said no because it's not age appropriate. However, the mere mention of the movie set my son off on a tangent about all the recent behind-the-scenes drama.
He said he wouldn't be able to sit through a film featuring 'annoying' Blake Lively. He then told me he thinks the actress is 'lying' about being sexually harassed by her co-star Justin Baldoni. And that even if she isn't making it up, Blake was probably 'asking for it'. (Awful, I know.). He went on to say he thinks women often 'use' sex-based claims as 'weapons' against men, and that false accusations have ruined the lives of innocent people.
Dear Jane: My son just said the wildest thing about the Blake Lively-Justin Baldoni drama. Have I raised him all wrong?. In fact, he said he is 'terrified' he will be the 'victim' of one of these 'false' claims at some point in the future. Frankly, I was shocked by the outburst. I didn't realize he was having all of these sexist thoughts, and I'm not sure where he's got all of these misogynistic ideas from.
Should I limit his media intake, or monitor what he's doing on his phone? Perhaps he is listening to podcasts by Joe Rogan or other toxic men who are spewing this rhetoric in his young impressionable ears. Sexist Son. International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on readers' most burning issues in her agony aunt column. Dear Sexist Son,. It's understandable that your son has strong feelings about this huge story that's all over the papers and social media. But his outburst is indeed concerning.
In particular, him saying Blake was 'asking for it' is something you are going to have to address. As to the rest of his thoughts, however, I'm not sure that they are entirely wrong. The fear of false accusations is a very real one among most of the young men I have encountered. In fact, I know a young man who briefly had a false claim made against him which was terrifying and had the potential to ruin his life.
Far worse than that, dishonesty does enormous damage to women who have survived real trauma. I don't think it's abnormal for your son to be frightened of having a bogus allegation levelled at him. But, at the tender age of 17, it's your job to teach him how to treat women well in the hope that he would never find himself in a situation where such allegations could be made. It is a very different world today – there is such a diverse range of media at the fingertips of our youngsters and it is impossible to filter everything that they are consuming.
