Am I dying?” “How long to get over ex?” “Getting back with ex.” “Why is love not enough?” Every unoccupied moment was spent dividing my entire life story into before and after, obsessively replaying the sweet times, trying to find the pivotal moments I wished I could reach back to and change, surveying the extent of what I had lost, the wrecked landscape of my new reality.
‘When my date arrived, I studied his face looking for a particular reaction’: Shon Faye on dating, love and heartbreak as a trans woman I wrote a romantic fantasy for myself to cope with my fear and vulnerability.
An older pain, the kind caused by far more shocking blows dealt to me in the past, seemed to lie dormant in my bones until the anguish of heartbreak reanimated it.
The kind where the only reasonable response to the first note of an Adele song on BBC Radio 2 is to wrench the car radio out by brute force and toss it out of the window.
Many of us have experienced this kind of breakup.
