Where you’ll find her: she’s been living in the same two-bed in Tooting Bec since 2010 and yet somehow she still can’t find her car keys, a hairbrush or the wherewithal to realise that not living in such close confines might help her sort her life out.
Where you’ll find her: running a political poster-painting workshop for reception class in a Finsbury Park state primary; setting up a campaign to ban phones in school (from her phone, at the school).
‘So sorry, I’ll be with you in a moment, I’m just penning a tear-stained poem about the end of our breastfeeding journey, called: “Jasper, You’re Four Now”.’ She looks up to find Jasper with his fingers around a traumatized fluffy tail.
Where you will find her: shuttling like the new Superloop buses between a suburban school and football club, wait no, is it ballet class on Tuesday?
Where you’ll find her: popping to reformer Pilates before Coach helps straighten her out as the nanny picks the kids up from their Holland Park prep school.
