I can’t understand the wedding gift I received from my friend

Dear Alison,. My new wife and I had a lovely wedding a few weeks ago and we’re only just getting round to looking through the congratulations cards, registry and writing our thank yous. We said that gifts weren’t required but that anyone who wanted to could contribute to our honeymoon fund. We’ve been together for five years and need nothing, other than money, to make our dream trip a reality. We’ve been overwhelmed by people’s generosity and we’re really close to reaching our financial goal for a month-long backpacking trip next year. We’re really moved and looking forward to thanking all our friends and family.

However, on opening one of the cards we received, a couple we’re close to declared they wanted to buy us something separately, and have said they will buy us ‘anything we want’ from John Lewis. I have a sneaking suspicion that they’re using gift vouchers they’ve previously received to buy this gift (which is a whole other issue in itself) but I don’t really know what to say. When we go backpacking we’ll be renting out our flat, so we really don’t actually want any physical gifts, plus we don’t want these friends to feel obliged to get us a gift if they can’t afford it.

I don’t want to embarrass them by drawing attention to the whole conundrum, but I also don’t know what else to say. Can you offer any advice for dealing with a wedding gift you don’t want?. Weddings are joyful occasions – but they’re also incredibly stressful. Whether you’re a bride or groom, best woman or man, family member or friend of the couple, the run up to the big day can be very tense.

If you need a bit of help with your quandary, Alison, who has run a venue for 10 years and helps couples plan weddings, is here to offer a helping hand. Email platform@metro.co.uk to share your issue anonymously with Alison and get it solved. Dear Toby,. First of all, congratulations on your wedding and on almost reaching your honeymoon fund goal!. It sounds like you have incredibly generous friends and family who want to celebrate your marriage in the most meaningful way.

It’s also really lovely that your close friends are eager to celebrate your wedding by giving you something special. While it may not be your first preference to receive a tangible gift rather than a contribution to the fund, their generosity comes from a good place. You may not need traditional homeware from John Lewis, but their extensive travel section could be helpful for your backpacking adventure – such as quality luggage, backpacks, travel-sized toiletries, casual clothing and footwear. Something like this could help you feel more prepared and organised for your trip.

For instance, a compact travel adapter, a durable water bottle, packing cubes or a versatile travel scarf could all be useful additions to your backpacking gear. That said, gift vouchers are a great option – rather than buying something for the sake of it, you may want to suggest this for you to use at a later date. They don’t have to be spent immediately, and when you are ready, you could get a spoil yourselves when you return.

Treat yourself to some of the luxuries – fluffy towels, bath bombs, clean clothes – that you might have missed while you were away travelling. Ultimately, the best gifts are the ones given with love, whether practical, luxurious, or simply thoughtful. If your loved ones really want to provide you with something tangible, why not gently guide them towards items that will enhance your journey? It doesn’t always have to be a toaster!.

As for your suspicion that they may be regifting vouchers – it’s a strong possibility, but shouldn’t be an issue. If they’re repurposing a gift they received, at least they’re using it in a way that makes them feel generous, and ultimately, a present is a present. You can use these vouchers to your advantage, and get yourself something you really need. Whatever you choose to say, keep the focus on gratitude. A kind and appreciative response will make them feel valued while steering them towards something that aligns with your plans.

Wishing you both a fantastic honeymoon when the time comes!. Best wishes,. Alison. Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. Share your views in the comments below. Arrow MORE: Why do LGBTQ+ couples in soap rarely get happy endings and is there hope for the future?. Arrow MORE: I watched India’s controversial first mainstream lesbian movie – it was life-changing.

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