I slept with 2 guys in 24 hours – how I felt after shocked me

Stumbling through the pathway by my house, I chuckled to myself as I recounted what I’d just done. Minutes earlier, I was getting hot and heavy with a very attractive gentleman, Jonah*, up against a fence. I don’t mean gentle kissing – we’re talking full-on fondling with one of my legs wrapped around his waist. I was cracking up because he was not the first man I locked lips with that day – he was actually the third. In fact, I’d shagged the other two, but decided against making it a trifecta.

On that fateful day around 15 years ago – when I was in my early 20s – I woke up in bed with a gorgeous hunk named Steve*, who had the kind of smile that melts butter. We would hang in the same social circles but weren’t exactly close friends. The sex was definitely casual. Steve left around 10am after we spent several hours together between the sheets. His visit was welcome, though unexpected – particularly as I had a date arranged with someone else for that day.

Gentleman number two, also known as Freddie*, and I had known each other for a while. We met up around 5pm for drinks and I had a feeling we might shag, but it wasn’t a given. The sex was good but very spur of the moment. Afterwards, I went to meet a few friends for drinks at a local bar. Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom?. Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us!.

That’s where I ran into Jonah. I had seen him around town but we’d never spoken before. We ended up walking home together and well, you know the rest. Things nearly escalated to sex but given we were in public – and the fact that I was already a bit shagged out (literally) from my previous bedroom activities – I decided against it. I was still laughing as I walked through my front door, partly because I felt like the cat who got the cream and partly because I couldn’t quite believe my own actions.

However, I was surprised when, the next morning, I woke up feeling quite unlike myself. I went to bed empowered, yet awoke feeling a little embarrassed. Despite knowing that my actions the previous day hurt no one, and left me – and my sexual partners – feeling good, the familiar feeling of internalised misogyny began gnawing at me. At this time in my life, I was studying abroad in a sunny town popular with backpackers. So most of my weekends were spent partying with friends and casual sex was pretty common in our crowd.

We were young and horny – and the hot weather only made our feelings more intense. Having always been a sex-positive woman who believes every person has the right to enjoy their body to the fullest, I was determined to have as much fun as I damn well pleased. So these feelings of shame were completely at odds with the proudly hedonistic lifestyle I was leading. Later that day, I was retelling the story to a friend over drinks when a nagging feeling bubbled up inside of me. She didn’t say anything nasty – in fact, she mostly laughed and told me the whole thing was brilliant – and yet, I felt a tad uncomfortable.

Maybe I imagined it but I thought I saw a hint of silent judgement in her eyes. Thinking back, if I am truly honest with myself, I think that judgement came from within myself. I was not ashamed of what I did, nor did I regret it. I still don’t. But ingrained misogyny is hard to fight. Sometimes, it creeps back up just to make you feel bad about yourself. After all, society has been telling women that we should be ladylike, proper and well-mannered ever since the day Eve supposedly bit the apple.

And I’ve been called enough names over the years to know that a woman admitting to shagging two men within 24 hours will irk some people. But ask yourself, would you care as much if I were a man? Probably not. Even though I know I did nothing wrong, I would be lying if I said this experience of dealing with internalised misogyny didn’t shape some of my future sexual encounters. A few years ago, I was dating three men at the same time.

I didn’t keep anyone in the dark. I was very open about the fact that I was ‘playing the field’ and they were fine with it. Though, once my relationship with one of them turned sexual, I ended it with the others. All my interactions with them had been respectful, and if I’d had sex with more than one of them, it would likely have been fine considering how open our communication was, but cutting things off with the other two men put my mind at ease.

Therein lies the lesson. You should always do what feels right to you. When I reflect on my time sleeping with Steve and Freddie, I can now see that I have nothing to be ashamed of. During that point in my life, my choices were completely appropriate. In fact, had I not slept with them, I might have regretted it!. The whole experience taught me to never let anyone else’s opinions or society’s outdated views trump my own feelings.