I'm a toyboy to my 55-year-old girlfriend. Here's EXACTLY why the sex is so good - and the one bedroom rule we'll NEVER break

The first questions I'm asked when out with my older girlfriend are usually, 'Where did you two meet?' followed by '...and what's the age gap?'. Of course, what they really want to know, but are too coy to ask, is what we get up to in bed – that's at the root of their interest. The rudeness of other people used to surprise me. Outside of the usual nosiness we all have about other people's relationships, I had never before experienced such a lack of tact.

At the start I was so taken aback, I'd answer them by saying, 'We met at work, but she wasn't my boss', and 'It's a ten-year age gap'. Now I'm more likely to smile, ignore them and shift the conversation on, while thinking to myself, 'None of your business, friend'. I haven't yet given in to the urge to poke the questioner in the eye, but I've come close. For the record, my partner, Karen, is 55 and I am 45.

It's a much smaller gap than that between 55-year-old Bridget Jones and her 29-year-old love interest Roxster, played by fresh-faced Leo Woodall in the new film, Mad About The Boy, out this week. Yet I am viewed in just the same way as Roxster. I'm a 'toyboy', a playmate, a younger man who is either 'into' older women for kinky reasons or enjoys being looked after and paid for by his 'sugar mummy'.

Stupid cliches, every one. Bridget's latest adventures will mostly attract a female audience but when it comes to my non-movie relationship, it's men who are fixated with our age gap. Evan and Karen... he is only ten years younger, but is still viewed as a 'toyboy'. I suspect the same guys who have a problem with us are the ones who criticised Demi Moore when she was with Ashton Kutcher (15 years her junior) yet championed Hugh Hefner's obsession with women young enough to be his granddaughters. I reckon it reveals a deeper issue within the male psyche.

A woman who knows what she wants and has found a man to give it to her? For some reason that bothers a lot of men. Women, on the other hand, seem to get it. If they do joke with my partner about me, they do it with a sense of admiration that we are able to carry on and rise above the criticism and snide remarks. So, what is it really like being the younger man in a relationship that provokes such interest? All things considered, I love it.

I'm certainly not in it for any material gain – not money, property or career advancement. Like any successful relationship, the chemistry works and the sex is great. But much more important is the way we can be both a couple and individuals. The house we live in together in Cheltenham, is mine – and that surprises anyone who doesn't know us. We have our own studies to retreat to (this is one reason we get along: we're not rammed into a tiny London flat) and our own sets of friends who know us in our own right.

As I'm in the film industry, I often work 12 or 14-hour days and I'm away a great deal, which would upset a conventional relationship. But since neither of us have ever wanted to 'settle down' in the traditional sense, this doesn't matter. We aren't jealous, needy or demanding of attention. There has never been any yelling or crockery throwing because neither of us wants to control the other. As far as children go, my partner tried to have a child in a previous relationship, but it didn't work out. I used to be a teacher, and the last thing I want is kids. So neither of us brought a loudly ticking biological clock into the relationship, something that, I think, liberated our sex life. If we're nesting, it's only to provide a proper home to a German Shepherd rescue dog or two.

Bridget and Roxster (Renee Zellwegger and Leo Woodall) in Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy. As we are both independent people, there is a real sense of freedom in our relationship. And when we do things together, we're good at compromising so that both of us are happy. Are we committed? Completely. As she puts it, it's so important to be friends before you become lovers. And we have definitely been that.

Yes, we come up against the odd generational culture clash. Our taste in music and movies are different. She loves weird old stuff such as Can or Captain Beefheart or 1980s pop such as George Michael. I like anything guitar-led and I'm a big fan of Hans Zimmer. We both love cinema, but she tends to go for cult films and classics and I love action movies. She has some strongly held opinions which she's not afraid to voice. I like that but, sometimes, think she overdoes the assertiveness. For example, when drivers don't stop at zebra crossings, she almost throws herself on the bonnet. She is extremely capable of shouting, but never at me.

We met five years ago at a media company where I was already working. It was an awful place: long hours in a stuffy old office with no air-conditioning, all while answering to a toxic boss. I couldn't wait to leave. Then, one evening, just as I was about to go home, someone walked past my desk and knocked into it. Mildly irritated at the interruption, I looked up to see an older woman who had come in for a job interview.