I’m polyamorous, I order my Valentine’s gifts online to...

PERUSING the Valentine’s cards in her local gift shop, Tiffany Banks selects three before taking them to the counter. The cashier raises an eyebrow but Tiffany, 37, is not cheating on her husband, nor is she an indecisive customer, she’s polyamorous. Come February 14 she juggles her love with both her husband and her two other boyfriends. But while Tiffany, from Ohio, won’t be short of romantic gestures this V-Day she says that sharing it with so many is no easy feat.

Image Credit: The Sun [a woman in a red dress stands in front of a door]

She claims ‘meticulous planning and communication’ is the key, splitting the week up with each partner for romantic dates. And while she might not have favourites, the day itself is saved for Tiffany’s ‘primary’ partner, her husband of two years, Joseph Banks, 35 who she married in September 2023. Tiffany’s boyfriends, Allen Mallory, 33, and Andy Fitch, 52, whom she dates separately and have other partners of their own, happily see her to celebrate days later.

Image Credit: The Sun [Portrait of a couple dressed in red.]

Tiffany, an anti-money laundering analyst, says: “Joe and I are settled into married life, and we couldn’t be happier. Things are amazing with Allen and Andy too. “I still date new people too, and so does Joe. “I believe humans were created to develop and navigate multiple relationships. Polyamory is truly amazing.”. As Valentine’s day is approaching, Tiffany Banks has begun planning for the multiple men in her life.

Image Credit: The Sun [a man and woman are posing for a picture with a ferris wheel in the background]

She says: “The major difference for me, being polyamorous, is simply having more people to celebrate it with. “I have to make sure I know each of my partner’s wants and needs for the day. Whether they want an extravagant gift, or they want quality time. “Luckily, all of my partners are into quality time so we were all on the same page. “Firstly I have to sort out my plans with my husband. I want to take him for a romantic dinner, or go to the cinema.

Image Credit: The Sun [a man and a woman are smiling for a picture]

“But either way, I’ll spend the actual day itself with him. My other partners will also prioritise their ‘primary’ partners for the day itself. “My boyfriend Allen Is local but he works a lot. So we’ll see each-other days later. “Whilst my other partner, Andy, is far, so it’ll be a belated Valentine’s day plan. “But on the day I’ll set aside an hour away from Joe in the house to Face-time Andy and give him my undivided attention.”.

Image Credit: The Sun [a man kisses a woman on the cheek while another man holds a folding chair]

On top of fitting plans into each-other’s schedules, Tiffany has to check in with each one, making sure to plan the right date. Tiffany says: “It’s only stressful or overwhelming if we don’t communicate well. But we do a good job of that. “It’s all about relationship ‘check ins’ with each-other. It’d be very different if I had a newer partner around Valentine’s day and they were expecting something more from me.

Image Credit: The Sun [a man in a military uniform poses with a bride and groom]

“Last year, I had a date with a man one week before Valentine’s day. “Then me and Joe spent the day itself together, going for a couples massage and enjoyed a Valentine’s set-menu meal at a nice restaurant. “I saw Allen the following week and he came to my house for a romantic night in. That same night, Joe left the house at the same time to see his own partner. “We have Google calendars, messages and lots of organisation to swap houses and make sure our plans fit.”.

Meanwhile, Tiffany avoids any confusion from shop-keepers by doing her gift shopping online. She says: “Funnily no-one’s noticed me getting different things as I just do it online. “If I buy three cards in a card shop, I haven’t had someone ask. Maybe they haven’t noticed or maybe they’re scared to ask. Who knows. “Joe, Allen and Andy are all really into special one-on-one time though so we don’t do big gifts.

“Unlike what most people think, it’s really amazing to share memories with them all during this period. I get thrice the love.”. Shockingly, Tiffany wasn’t always an advocate for polyamory. In her 20s, she felt trapped in monogamous relationships and always felt different to everyone. She says: “Although I’d been in monogamous relationships for over 10 years, I always hated being someone’s ‘everything.’.

“I couldn’t shake the feeling off and worried if I was weird. I liked having a partner around, but I didn’t want to be fully entangled in their life. I made sure to keep the PDA with Allen on the down-low, as I didn’t want to shock our older family members. “I wanted my own identity, and goals and constantly felt restricted.”. But aged 28, in 2015, Tiffany’s close relatives opened their marriage.

She was left stunned, as the couple had always been one she’d looked up to and aspired to be. Tiffany says: “Hearing the words ‘open marriage’ and ‘polyamorous’ for the first time in my life; I was bewildered. “This caused a snow-ball affect, and I went down a rabbit hole of reading books on it. “After a while, I plucked up the courage to join some online groups for support. I began slowly meeting people online who were poly too.