Simon Calder: How my Emirates business class experience compared to economy

Exclusive: The posh seats on Emirates flight EK404 disappointed our over-fussy travel correspondent, but there were plenty of benefits. Emirates is 40 years old this year. Since beginning in 1985 with two planes borrowed from Pakistan International Airlines, the Dubai-based carrier has expanded to transform the world – connecting more than 150 cities from its hub in the Gulf. Many British travellers choose Emirates due to its excellent range of UK departure points – Birmingham, Manchester, Newcastle, Edinburgh and Glasgow as well as three London airports – and its easy onward connections to Asia, Africa and Australasia.

I have always flown economy on Emirates and found it superb. But due to an unusual set of circumstances I booked a business-class ticket from Singapore to Melbourne. This is one of the “fifth freedom” routes the airline operates, flying between two foreign countries as extensions of services from Dubai. Other examples include Barcelona to Mexico City and Miami to Bogota. The “hard product” was unimpressive, but there was much to enjoy along the way.

This is the timeline (all in Singapore time) for my adventure in the front of the plane. Friday 3.35am: British Airways cancels flight BA11 from London Heathrow to Singapore just 80 minutes before departure due to mechanical problems. Friday 6pm: After a swift switch to Singapore Airlines organised by BA, I arrive in the Southeast Asian city-state over two hours behind schedule, but still in good time for my 9pm onward departure to Melbourne on the Qantas budget subsidiary, Jetstar.

Friday 7.40pm: Jetstar cancels flight JQ8 just 80 minutes before departure due to one pilot going sick. Staff decline to rebook passengers on the last Australia-bound flight of the night on Qantas. The only options: a replacement Jetstar flight the following evening, or a refund. As I have plans for Saturday night in Melbourne, I choose the latter. But aircraft heading for the Australian city are extremely full.

All times from now onwards are on Saturday. 1am: Finally I find a seat on Emirates flight EK404 that is due to leave Singapore at 10.10am and arrive in Melbourne at 5.35pm. Fares are extremely high – far more than the £300 I paid for my Jetstar flight. So I transfer some American Express Reward Points to my Emirates Skywards account. The only seat available for points is in business class: 87,000 miles plus £52 in cash.

8.10am: I visit the Emirates lounge, hoping to forage for breakfast. The staff are welcoming and helpful; the view out to the western runway is excellent; but the food is unappetising and reminiscent of a budget hotel. 8.30am: After a coffee and some fruit, I go to play in the airport – which has a vast amount of interest “airside” – including the amazing shuttle which swerves between terminals 2 and 3.

9.30am: My flight is boarding from Gate C23. I reach the location and meet a throng of passengers queuing for the security search (which is carried out at the gate in Singapore). But then I spot a sign inviting first and business class passengers to jump the queue. The same happens inside the gate lounge; I am invited to use a dedicated airbridge and breeze straight on board. Rows 1 and 2 look wonderful; but these four-abreast seats, it turns out, are first class. Business class is seven abreast.

9.40am: Champagne or fruit juice? I make myself an awkward customer. I’d like a cup of tea, please. (I later discover in Australia that Emirates has dispensation to offer champagne but no other alcohol while flights are on the ground.) The tea, served in a proper-sized mug, arrives five minutes later. Just what I needed after a stressful 30 hours. 10.05am: The captain (who is Swiss) welcomes us in English. Flight time seven hours, he announces.

10.10am: Departure time comes and goes while we stayed firmly anchored to Gate C23. Surely first and business class passengers get to depart sooner than those down the back? Oh wait …. The Boeing 777 pushes back around 10 minutes late and joins a long line of budget aircraft waiting to take off. 10.45am: Finally take-off, which you can watch thanks to the on-board cameras. 11.10am: With the seat belt sign switched off, time to examine my surroundings. I make notes: “Business class buys you lots more legroom, but hardly any more elbow room. With seat dividers that draw their inspiration from the Berlin Wall cutting into the width profile, everything is narrow and, dare I say it, coffin-like. The closest experience I have had to this is in the dentist’s chair.”.

11.30am: I am still trying to make sense of the machinery and operating systems. Emirates and other airlines really should run training courses for passengers before they are allowed near a business class seat so they can make the most of the experience. Besides the electronics, there is lots of analogue machinery, with buttons to raise or lower the screens, the seat recline and a mysterious button marked “Press”. I don’t.