What sex is REALLY like in an arranged marriage: MINREET KAUR was a virgin when she tied the knot at 27 to a man she barely knew - here she, and other women, reveal what happens behind closed doors...

'Was it an arranged marriage?'. It's the first question people ask when I tell them I'm divorced. What people in the Asian community don't understand is that I didn't get divorced because my marriage was arranged. Divorce happens in a love marriages too. When I got married more than 15 years ago, it was 'semi-arranged'. We hardly knew one another when we were introduced through the Gurdwara matrimonial service at a Sikh temple in west London.

It was fairly strict that we couldn't meet up a lot, so we didn't. I was a virgin as I always wanted to share that special moment with my husband. I thought I would have time to get to know him first and have the physical relationship that love marriages do. At the time, I felt the cultural pressure mostly from the community, people would always ask if I had met anyone and - if not -  why not?. MINREET KAUR (pictured) was 27 when she got married in a semi-arranged marriage. Here she speak to other women about what sex is really like.

A lot of my friends were married, so I felt I better get a move on. Looking back now, I think I rushed it, I actually didn't really know my ex, and before you know it we were married. I remember that first night, feeling nervous about getting intimate with someone I don't really know. Normally a couple would stay a night out after getting married, we were in the family home, where my ex and seven of his family members lived in the same house.

How can you actually relax? I was already feeling awkward about it. We didn't really have any physical relationship beyond the first night and maybe a few times after, I can't really remember it. I never think about it. The sex was non-existent as I had a lot of issues in my marriage. What bothers me more now is I lost my virginity to someone who was a stranger. Really and there was nothing between us and I never loved him.

As I reflect on things, I realise that what many people would look forward to is having that intimate relationship with their partner and feeling that connection, I never had, it was just something you do when you're married, in fact I felt sick inside because the person I married wasn't someone I felt close to. My example isn't unique. I've spoken to other women who have shared their stories about what sex is really like in an arranged marriage.

MINREET: My example isn't unique. I've spoken to other women who have shared their stories about what sex is really like in an arranged marriage (stock image). We had sex three times a week, until it started to go wrong. Tina* has been married 10 years, it was an arranged marriage. 'Initially there was a lot more attraction, at least from my side, and sex was also very frequent twice to three times a week.

'I wouldn't say there was an instant connection, but there certainly was attraction and also love from both sides I suppose,'. Tina added that gradually there were a lot of differences between them and this started becoming apparent. 'This was more to do with our respective upbringing. 'I was brought up in a broad- minded family where both genders were treated equally while my husband's family although projected themselves to be very modern, but were the typical Indian in- laws who want an educated daughter in law and still want her to stay quiet and work both at home and work outside.

'Even with this friction, still sex and love was good and enjoyable at both ends up to various years. Then my baby was born a couple of years ago. 'There was a lot of drama related to in laws, and friction between us increased, with the husband emotionally hurting me many times over. 'As a result, unfortunately gradually I no longer feel the emotional connect with him anymore, nor do I feel that I love him anymore.

'This hasn't happened overnight and the feeling has set in after years of getting hurt. 'Sex has been affected as well and now I don't even feel like having sex with him, due to the lack of emotional connect and love. 'So, the frequency has drastically reduced in the last couple of years to only twice- thrice monthly.'. Women in arranged marriages often struggle with intimacy. Satinder Panesar, psychotherapist and clinical consultant from Glasgow works with a lot of clients who are women in arranged marriages from the South Asian community.

'These women often face significant challenges in their relationship with sex and intimacy. 'One of the most common issues is the lack of emotional connection with their spouse. Minreet is pictured. She had a 'semi-arranged' marriage. 'Many enter marriage with little or no prior relationship, making physical intimacy feel more like an obligation than a mutual expression of love or desire. 'Without emotional closeness, sex can become transactional, leaving women feeling detached or even resentful.