A moment that changed me: A year after losing my parents, I spent Christmas Day cycling around London alone
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I was in a state of intense grief and needed a break from family occasions. On my own in the city, I found companionship and adventure. ‘You can’t spend Christmas like that!” exclaimed friends and relatives when I revealed my plan to cycle around London on my own on Christmas Day. “I’ll be worried about you feeling lonely and depressed,” said one. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea.”.
I understood. Usually, the idea of Christmas alone filled me with nightmarish images of isolation and despair. But I had recently lost both my parents. For the past 11 months, my brother and I had been in our parents’ house going through a lifetime of letters, books, clothes, pictures and precious possessions. I needed a break from it all. I wanted a day to explore, to dream, to be open to whatever crossed my path.
A few days before Christmas, I was in a taxi, chatting to the lovely driver. When I told him I was going to cycle around London on Christmas Day, he cried: “Me too! That’s what I always do.” I was amazed. So it’s a thing. We agreed to look out for each other and wave if our paths crossed.
So, on Christmas Day, armed with home-made mince pies and wearing a twinkling scarf of cheap battery-operated fairy lights (which broke after five minutes), I set out on my adventure. I whizzed about, owning the streets of London. It was fabulous. After about an hour, I stopped at a bench in Regent’s Park and started chatting to a Spanish woman who was taking photographs of the zoo. “This is where the wolves used to be before they were moved. You can still see them, though, in a scene in Withnail and I,” she told me excitedly. I knew the spot well, as it is where we used to pick conkers as children. She was meant to be in Madrid but had missed her flight the evening before. So her huge Spanish family were gathered in her mum’s tiny flat, while she walked around London with her camera.
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