After my mother died, I'm spending Christmas alone by choice. Here's why I love it
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Alyssa Lauren, 26, from Los Angeles was too sad to spend last Christmas with other people. Her mother had just died and Alyssa preferred to reflect alone. Yet this year, it’s very different, she says: she’ll be all on her own yet again – but entirely by choice! Here’s why….
![[That first Christmas after her death, my friends invited me to join their families, but I knew how sad I would be. I didn’t want to bring that negativity into their homes.]](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/12/24/13/93279921-14206363-image-m-3_1735045900553.jpg)
My mom passed away unexpectedly a week before my 25th birthday in September 2023. I had gone to visit her at home in Inland Empire, California, with my then-boyfriend and as she stood up to pack some leftovers for me, she just collapsed. It was a stroke.
![[My mom passed away unexpectedly a week before my 25th birthday in September 2023.]](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/12/18/17/93285131-14206363-image-m-6_1734543639064.jpg)
We rushed her to hospital and she had surgery, but she was already brain-dead. She was only 54. I’m not in contact with my father, so my mom was the only family I had. For most of my life we had celebrated small but warm Christmases with her friends. When she died, everything changed.
That first Christmas after her death, my friends invited me to join their families, but I knew how sad I would be. I didn’t want to bring that negativity into their homes. So, I stayed by myself and tried to remain positive by doing small festive things: On Christmas Eve, I decided to get my favorite meal, a seafood boil, for example.
The day itself was hard. Yet this year, although people find it strange, I've decided to spend Christmas alone again – and I'm actually looking forward to it. Before her mother died in 2023, Alyssa always spent small Christmases with her mother and their friends (pictured here in 2021).
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