I've been estranged from my mum for six years. She finally wanted to meet her granddaughter this Christmas - but would she let me down again?
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Tell people you don't enjoy Christmas and they look at you like you've been kicking puppies. Over the years, I've come up with many reasons why I dislike this time of year, from the endless over-consumption to the cheesy music. I would always try to shrug off my inner Scrooge with a jokey comment. Most years I would skip the whole thing by jetting out of the country. But behind my smug Instagram posts from a beach in Mexico was a very different story.
![[Kate says that for as long as she can remember, she has had a turbulent relationship with her mother. They were never close - whether it was because of her mother's long hours at work or because they had very different personalities]](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/12/29/17/93562191-14233885-image-a-14_1735492650208.jpg)
A big part of the reason I've always hated Christmas so much is that I was estranged from my mother. This time of year is particularly difficult for the millions of adults who have an estranged family member. In Britain, research by the charity Stand Alone suggests around one in five families are affected by estrangement – which is defined as a relationship in which communication has stopped.
In the US, a study from Ohio State University found 6 per cent of respondents were estranged from a mother and a staggering 26 per cent from a father. Although lots of us feel under some sort of obligation to see someone we'd rather not spend time with over the holidays – from a tricky uncle to a monstrous mother-in-law – being utterly cut off from a parent is a completely different emotion.
In December I would often feel like an alien, as friends talked warmly of looking forward to spending time with their parents and what they'd buy for them. I felt completely cold. For as long as I can remember, I've had a turbulent relationship with my mother. We were never close – whether it was because of her long hours at work or because we had very different personalities. Although I was close to my older sister and got along well with my dad, my childhood was punctuated by my father's drinking and a lot of dysfunction.
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