How to choose a new year’s resolution, according to clinical psychologists
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Clinical psychologists tell us the best way to set goals that can lead to the greatest success – however you define it – and settle into the new year. As the ew year approaches, so will the desire to reinvent ourselves – maybe this is the year to get outside, drink less, eat healthier. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s the year to practice rest and restoration.
![[Jessica Glenza]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/uploads/2017/10/06/Jessica-Glenza,-R.png?width=75&dpr=1&s=none&crop=none)
Taking time to identify and lay out goals over the holiday season is a time honored tradition, and touches on the work licensed clinical psychologists do with patients every day. To enjoy success – however you define it – psychologists say the best changes are personal, start small and tackle expectations – our own, and those we might have internalized.
“One of my favorite phrases in therapy, which is just kind of meant to be a little bit silly, is ‘stop should-ing on yourself’,” said Jennifer Caspari, an associate psychologist and cognitive behavioral therapist in Colorado. What she means, she said, is to, “sit down and strip away that sense of ‘should’,” and instead focus on the values you feel are important.
“A very common example of that is people think they should value fitness,” said Caspari. “That is genuinely important to some people – and genuinely not important to others.”. One of the exercises she uses in her own practice is to give people a list of value-based words – such as achievement, curiosity, or independence – and then define what the words mean to the individual. If it feels like that value isn’t being fulfilled, then perhaps it’s time to make a plan to change that. Using the value of curiosity as an example, that could involve reading a book, taking a class or going to the library once a month; those steps are all attainable and specific.
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