But over the years, I’ve realised that forcing children to share their toys, snacks or belongings, isn’t actually teaching them to be kind, rather it is teaching them to be resentful and can often make a child become the opposite of what we are trying to teach.
True generosity comes about when someone wants to give, not by being forced to and when children learn that sharing is a choice and that they are allowed to say ‘no’, they begin to understand that consent should always be given freely and not out of pressure or obligation.
For example, when a precious Lego model was deconstructed by another child, causing upset to our son Leo, we decided to start putting anything deemed as ‘special’ away during play dates and agreed beforehand what toys he would be happy to share and take turns with.
One two-year-old at toddler group once put all the toy dinosaurs down his trousers, so he didn’t have to share – he then spent his time in the ‘home corner’ slamming children’s fingers in cupboard doors, if they so much as tried to get near them.
These children are becoming selfish in their play and that is definitely not how I want my children, or those in my care, to interact with others.
