IRAM RAMZAN: My own mother tried to marry me off to my second cousin... I don't care if it's common in other countries, it's disgusting that this abhorrent practice is still allowed in Britain
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The subject of marriage first came up when I was 19 or 20, when my mother sat me down at our home in Oldham and said ominously: 'I need to talk to you.' She told me that my late grandmother had always wanted me to marry her nephew back in Kashmir. I had met him once or twice on a family visit to my grandparents' village, though our conversations had been barely more than an exchange of pleasantries.
![[Last week Tory MP Richard Holden, bottom left, called for a ban on marriages between first cousins]](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/12/14/17/93151037-14192839-image-a-29_1734198588111.jpg)
He had seemed decent and respectful. But did I want to marry my second cousin? Absolutely not! The proposition was revolting. He was much older and didn't speak English. He'd lived his life in a rural village while I had been born in the UK and was studying at university. What would we have in common? I was amazed Mum had even suggested it.
![[Iqbal Mohamed, the independent MP for Dewsbury and Batley, does not believe outlawing cousin marriages would be 'effective or enforceable']](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/12/14/17/93151041-14192839-image-a-30_1734198596326.jpg)
Marriage was also a means for him to get a spousal visa to England, to get a job and send money back home. How romantic. Indeed, I remember Pakistani girls from my school who, not long after they completed their GCSEs, were married to a cousin from 'back home' for that reason.
Naturally, I refused, and nothing more was said. But I was reminded of the conversation – shocking then, amusing now – last week when Tory MP Richard Holden called for a ban on marriages between first cousins. Isn't it banned already? No. While marriage and sexual activity between siblings, parents and children is illegal, it is allowed between first cousins.
