My son’s girlfriend has taken over his life and I fear he’s being suffocated | Ask Annalisa Barbieri
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You are better off keeping your son close so that he knows he can come to you if there are problems. Every week Annalisa Barbieri addresses a problem sent in by a reader. A year ago, our almost 18-year-old son began seeing a girl, who is a year older than him and is his first ‘real’ girlfriend. Soon he stopped seeing his friends and he spent all of his free time with her. When they were not actually together, they were on the phone or playing remote video games.
We barely saw him over the summer, as he was with her all the time. He refused to go on holiday with us unless we invited her too, which we were not willing to do . She has a number of psychological issues, including bulimic tendencies and phobias (about school, public transport), and no friends of her own. Before meeting our son, she was going nowhere in life. Her mother told us that their daughter had been making their lives a living hell, but that everything changed when she met our son. She has since returned to school (albeit remotely) and started making plans for the future.
The problem (from our standpoint) is that all her plans revolve around our son. Everything he does, she wants to be part of. His dreams and ambitions are hers. Our son is now studying abroad, and we hoped it might be the start of a break, but his girlfriend is planning to move over there to be with him. We are far from happy about this, but our opinion is falling on closed ears.