Trapped at Christmas: The devastating reality for thousands of women suffering domestic abuse
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Thousands of women in the UK will be spending Christmas being domestically abused. For Charlotte*, Christmas lost its magic in her early twenties. Once a season of joy and security, it became a time marked by isolation, fear, and violence after she moved in with her boyfriend – a man she had fallen for just weeks earlier, charmed by his seemingly kind and charismatic demeanour.
![[The Independent has partnered with charity Refuge for its Brick by Brick campaign, to raise funds to build two houses for women and children escaping abuse.]](https://static.independent.co.uk/2024/10/28/15/brickbybrick.jpg)
But the charm soon faded. Within months, he controlled every aspect of her life, barring her from seeing friends, limiting contact with her mother, and attaching a price to basic freedoms like going to work. The couple’s first Christmas together set the tone. While he visited his family, Charlotte was left alone, forbidden from seeing her own. The second was even worse.
![[Olivia found the societal pressure around Christmas particularly challenging whilst in an abusive relationship.]](https://static.independent.co.uk/2024/10/03/21/DomesticAbuse2.jpg)
“I remember we had the tree and decorations up,” she told The Independent, “and I was relieved because I was home alone and safe for a bit.”. But that relief was short-lived. Her partner returned from drinking at their neighbour’s home in a furious rage. “He ripped down the tree, tore off the lights, stood in front of me, and punched me in the face. It was horrendous,” she recalled.
![[During her 23-year marriage to her abuser, Christmas was spent walking on eggshells for Jane*.]](https://static.independent.co.uk/2024/12/12/11/iStock-1678330314.jpg)
Charlotte said Christmas had “always been magical” in her childhood home, a place of comfort and safety with her parents. “You just assume it’ll be the same when you move out with your boyfriend,” she reflected. “But Christmas was never Christmas in that situation. He would always blame the stress of Christmas or the drinking – but there is never an excuse.”.
