I don’t want my daughter’s ex dating some horrible skank, I MUST vet her first – we come as a package

HANGING up after talking to her daughter, Emma Parsons-Reid was hit by a tidal wave of devastation. The former civil servant had just learnt Hannah, 34, and her husband, Scott Bees, 36, were calling time on their 14-year marriage. But it wasn’t Hannah’s impending divorce which had the mum-of-one, from Ely, South Wales, so grief-stricken. Emma was more concerned about what the split meant for her and Scott – a man she was so close to, he called her “Mum”.

“I was heartbroken,” says Emma, who is married to retired chemical engineer Kevin, 63. “It was just earth-shattering. I cried and was more upset than the kids. It was the end of an era.". Studies show that women rate their relationships with their sons-in-law more favourably than relationships with their daughters-in-law, but that wasn’t always the case for Emma. He came to me and asked for Hannah’s hand in marriage beforehand which was something. But I assumed at the time he was scared of me.

When Scott and Hannah – then a single mum to a three-year-old girl – got together in 2009, she was initially suspicious. "I wasn't sure if he was good enough for my daughter and granddaughter,” says Emma. "He was young and not on a dedicated career path. I was concerned as any mum would be.". Hannah met him at work when she was a market researcher. Months later she was pregnant with the first of their four girls, now aged 14, 12, nine and seven.”.

Emma, who is adamant no man can be fully trusted, says Scott had to “jump through hoops” to win her over. Even by the time he and Hannah tied the knot in 2011, she wasn’t fully on board. “He came to me as her mother, not Kevin, her stepdad, as I am the more scary one and bravely asked for Hannah’s hand in marriage, which was something,” says Emma. “I just assumed he was scared of me. “My loyalty still lay very much with Hannah and when we were looking at wedding dresses, I said to her, ‘You could always just live together'.”.

But the pair did marry, and former postman Scott continued to fight to get his mother-in-law on side. “It was a slowburner,” says Emma. “He wanted my approval and liked me to say, ‘Well done, Scott’. “When he wallpapered a wall for the first time, he wanted me to like it.”. Over the years, Scott started to turn to Emma for guidance. If they think divorce is going to interfere with my social life, they have got another thing coming.

“He valued my opinion on all things big and small,” she says. “I also lent him money and he always paid me back. He started to need me like a parent. I get on with Scott's mum but he realised early on that if you marry Hannah you get me as an added bonus.". By 2016 Emma conceded he was good enough for Hannah. “He entered my circle of trust,” she says. “I could see he was a good father and husband. He soothed Hannah and looked after her.

“That meant a lot to both of us. When the cancer spread in 2020, Scott was a rock and really protective of me.”. Emma described Hannah and Scott as being like South Wales’ Posh and Becks and admitted she felt so close to her loving son-in-law, that by the time they broke up around seven months ago, she was heartbroken. "They explained how they had married young and both had grown apart and wanted to stay friends, “ she says.

“Scott asked Hannah to still have me in his life. I said they had to share custody of me. It's only fair. Emma’s is a volcano; crusty and fiery on the outside but inside is a big marshmallow style lava flow of fun. “Scott and Hannah co-parent well and both have the children’s best interests at heart. “But after knowing him for 16 years, I consider Scott my son. "When they announced the split, I realised just how much of a 'son' Scott had become. I didn't want to lose that relationship.”.

Emma now describes Scott, who is 21 years her junior, as her “BMM” – her best male mate. "We take the kids out together. We go on picnics with them if it's an inset day. We go for coffee and chat. I take him clothes shopping. He needs someone to help with style choices," she says. I am going to interview any woman he meets, like I did him. They have to accept he comes with his ex-mother-in-law as a package. I don’t want him dating some horrible skank.

"I also have selected his wardrobe for him when he starts dating again. "When people see us together I am always very quick to point out that he’s my son.”. Hannah and Scott now have joint custody… of Emma. “My daughter and Scott have to take turns visiting me, or accept joint visitation with me as part of their post-split lives,” she says. “If they think divorce is going to interfere with my life or my relationship with my new 'son' Scott they have got another thing coming. When Scott does find a new partner she will have to win my approval and jump through hoops to be good enough for him and my grandchildren.