I’m a size 14 fashion editor but industry makes me feel XL – I’ve been brainwashed to think skinny equals stylish

I MAY by a size 14 but the fashion industry makes me feel like an XL – and I’ve had enough. I live and breathe fashion for my job as a stylist and deputy fashion editor, but being in this body-centric industry is starting to make me sad. And I’m not sure what to do to fix it, except lose weight. This is something that is on my mind practically 24/7 and something I have been trying to do for most of my adult life.

I’ve hopped in and out of Slimming World multiple times and downloaded countless calorie-counting apps. I’m a size 14, one size under the UK average of a 16, and yet I feel like I’m ginormous. In shops like Zara I have to buy an XL as nothing fits over my G-cup bust and I often just give trousers a miss all together because the sizing is so baffling. Don’t get me wrong, I really don’t care what the size is on the tag as long as it fits and is comfortable, but there will be a lot of people out there that really do care about this.

Some retailers have recently started offering fewer sizes and are marking clothes up rather than down. So where you might have once been a 14, you are suddenly in size 16 territory. This can’t make anyone feel positive about their body. There’s also no blanket size book that brands adhere to, so I could go into one shop and fit comfortably into a size 14 top and walk into the store next door and be a 16.

As much as we try and think the industry is changing, sadly it is very much the same, or even getting worse — thin is in. The 2010s were very much the body positive era, with models such as Ashley Graham and Paloma Elsesser climbing the fashion ranks. But sadly, it seems we are now in the Ozempic era, with the popularisation of fat jabs spilling on to the catwalks. Look at Haute Couture Week that took place in Paris at the end of last month. Designers such as Schiaparelli and Dior sent models down the runway with tiny corseted waists, jutting hip bones and spindly arms. There wasn’t a bulge in sight.

According to a report by Vogue, out of 230 shows and 8,880 runway looks at Fashion Week shows last year, just 0.8 per cent of models were plus-size. This year, I predict there are going to be even fewer. Models on retailer websites are often just as skinny. And I hate to admit it, but I do think clothes look trendier on those models than they do on me. There have been times I’ve ordered a pair of jeans I’ve seen online only to discover they won’t zip up and that they leave my gut hanging out.

They are my size but just the totally wrong shape for someone with curves. It’s like my mind has been warped into a sense of body dysmorphia, where I think that the item will suit me only for me to be brought back down to earth when I try it on. As a stylist, am I partly responsible for this? There is a lack of mid-size models in the industry so for shoots I often use slim women. Size 10 is the sample size brands send to us.

If women are only presented with images of clothes on very slender models, how are they meant to work out what styles will look good on their curvier frame?. Right now, skinny chic extends beyond fashion, from the women on Love Island: All Stars to A-listers such as Ariana Grande, Cynthia Erivo and Nicole Kidman on the Golden Globes red carpet. Even celebs such as Adele and the Kardashians who once flew the curvy flag have slimmed.

The desire to be thin is more rife than ever, with more than 500,000 people in the UK currently taking weight-loss jabs. If last decade celebrated being plus-size, and this decade is worshipping being skinny, where does that leave us in the middle?. I now see lots of women on social media apps saying they don’t feel their body type is represented so they want to use their platform to do that. Inspired by them, I plucked up the courage to start posting my own outfit videos on TikTok last year, but I constantly feel like what I’m wearing doesn’t look as good on me as on those who are skinnier.

There are countless photos and videos I don’t post because I feel like I look too big. Similarly, at work I come across confident, appearing in photoshoots and video content, but on the inside I cringe thinking I don’t look good enough to be front and centre. It’s like my brain has been indoctrinated into thinking skinny equals fashionable. Last year, I was able to work on something really special here at Fabulous — we launched a fuller-bust clothing range.

Often those with larger bosoms are mid-size or above, and it has been lovely to help women who have struggled to dress to feel good about themselves. I have to keep reminding myself that this is what fashion is about — wearing something that makes you feel good and happy in yourself. Thankfully, there are some brands that remember this. Rihanna’s Savage X Fenty lingerie line, which is valued at £800million, caters for all shapes and sizes.