Mums share their VERY different sex lives- who’s gone...

MAKING LOVE, hanky panky or a good old fashioned bonk - whatever you call it, every couple’s attitude towards sex differs greatly. But whether you’re swinging from the chandeliers or saving it for special occasions, there’s one universal truth: having kids can really affect your sex life. Having sex once a week is average in the UK, according to YouGov. For those with young children however, it’s less frequent.

Image Credit: The Sun [Portrait of a couple posing together against a pink background.]

So, do you feel you're getting enough of the good stuff? Here, two couples talk us through the intricate details of their sex lives, both before and after having kids. Wedding events organiser Tobi Yusuf, 34, and her photographer husband Ade Bayo, 40, live in Rainham, Essex, with their three girls aged nine, seven, and three. Tobi says: When we got together in 2011, we fancied each other loads and were at it between four and five times a week.

Image Credit: The Sun [A couple posing for a photo. The woman wears a black dress with an ornate top. The man wears a patterned shirt and maroon pants.]

But after we married in 2012 and had three children we were totally knackered. After the birth of our first daughter, we waited six months before having sex again, as we tried to find our feet as new parents. We made a vow when our third daughter arrived in 2021 not to let nooky slide… and it didn’t. When our second daughter came along, we waited four months to have sex. We were totally exhausted by parenthood.

Image Credit: The Sun [Portrait of a woman with long, dark hair wearing a blue dress.]

So we made a vow when our third daughter arrived in 2021 not to let nooky slide… and despite a traumatic birth, it didn’t. Just four weeks after she arrived I was getting down and dirty with my man. But that’s when we hit a roadblock – the old spark we had was no longer there. We had forgotten that before children we had been amazing communicators and fancied the pants off each other. Admitting there was a problem was the first step for us. I knew if we didn’t rekindle our sex life we’d be facing divorce.

Image Credit: The Sun [Couple under a blanket looking unhappy.]

Thankfully, within three months of admitting there was a sex problem we were back on track. Now, we can't get enough of each other – each time together feels like the first time which is why we’re at it so often. The most searched sex positions... Follow our sex positions page for more. Except now I fancy Ade even more than I did at the beginning, and we make love between three and four times a week.

Image Credit: The Sun [Photo of a couple.]

Friends are in awe of us. Some mums want to know how I find the energy and the time. We're almost back to our pre-baby love making and its even more fulfilling. Now we make love between three and four times a week. We're almost back to our pre-baby love making and its even more fulfilling. Ade says: Having a wife who is honest and committed to working on a marriage is the key to keeping the love alive.

Image Credit: The Sun [Couple holding a large red heart, pointing at it.]

We needed a ‘sex hiatus’ – but now we get hot and heavy regularly. It is our wonderful new normal. I am proud we’ve matured as a couple. Admitting we were in a dead zone saved our relationship and our sex life. We have matching libidos and having our love life return to almost pre-baby days is great. Actress Solaya Rowley and DJ husband Chris, both 46, live in Stoke, Staffs, with their three children, aged 16, seven, and four.

Image Credit: The Sun [Family portrait with a child's face blurred.]

Solaya says: When we met 18 years ago we were at it multiple times a day - now we are lucky if we have sex every four months or on special occasions. We once had sex in a phone booth. It was a tight squeeze. We also indulged in love-making in a lift and a car. Now, the idea of getting sexy exhausts me – how I used to manage it that often is mind-blowing!. When our oldest baby arrived in September 2008 we got a massive shock – she wasn’t easy, cried a lot and was clingy.

Image Credit: The Sun [Couple holding large red heart.]

I found breastfeeding a struggle and battled postnatal depression. We were sleep-deprived and ended up co-sleeping with her. My body had gone from being mine to a milk machine and a baby cushion. When we saw each other, we were so tired we could barely give each other a cuddle. After our second and third child and more co-sleeping with babies, I did not feel sexy. I gained weight after my first child and went up three sizes, and my priorities were nappies, snotty noses and play dates.

When we met 18 years ago at a house party we were at it multiple times a day. Now we are lucky if we have sex every four months or on special occasions. I needed time to appreciate my post-baby body, and Chris realised that. We were open about it because we were both feeling the same sense of failure. With three kids aged between 16 and four, they’re all at different stages of their lives. It means our personal life is on hold - but that's okay.

Everything you need to know about sex and your body. Why does sex hurt?. Can you have sex while pregnant?. Can you have sex on your period?. How long should sex last?. The exact number of times you should be having sex each week. What causes premature ejaculation?. How many calories does sex burn?. What is a squirting orgasm?. The sex positions most likely to give you a UTI. I am not afraid to admit sex takes second place to the kids, but we are still a loved-up couple.