A top security expert has explained how the key seven questions you should answer to highlight if you could be a victim of stalking. Philip Grindell, a former New Scotland Yard Detective, shared his advice as the Government prepares to introduce new measures to counter rising cases of stalking. Under a raft of new measures unveiled by the Home Office in December, stalking victims will be given more protection and perpetrators will face robust management.
Mr Grindell, who has more than 30 years experience providing security support for Royals, the Government and the Military, said it’s much needed and warned the threat which now exists is “very real”. The expert explained: “Some 1 in 6 women and 1 in 15 men have been stalked, but it can be difficult to tell if it’s happening to you. The risk of being stalked by an ex-partner, family member, or someone you met online is very real and sometimes dangerous, but often it is not immediately obvious that it is happening.”.
Stalking is repeated unwanted and intrusive communications - often causing fear and behaviour change. Around half of all stalkers are former partners. Stalking often evolves from domestic and family violence, with these usually the most dangerous. Mr Grindell, the founder and CEO of the security consultancy Defuse Global, said stalking can take many forms. He said common stalking behaviours include e-mailing, letters, phone calls, threatening suicide, spreading lies about the victim, and unwanted visiting of the victim at home or work. Outlining the difference between stalking and harassment, which are often blurred, he continued: “Harassment is behaviour intended to cause a person alarm or distress. The behaviour must occur on more than one occasion, but it does not have to be the same behaviour on each occasion.
“It involves persistently following someone, and it does not necessarily mean following them in person; it can include watching, spying, or contacting the victim through any means, including social media. Stalking involving fear of violence, serious alarm, or distress is a more serious offence. “As in harassment, it must occur on two or more occasions; however, the behaviours must have caused the victim to fear violence will be used against them or had a substantial adverse effect on their day-to-day activities, even where the fear is not explicitly of violence, such as threats or intimidation. It can be hard to know if you are being stalked. But a good starting point is to ask yourself the following questions. And if the answers to any of these is yes then there's a high chance you are at risk, and need to take action.
Explaining what that action might be he said: “Wherever possible, do not engage with the stalker or react to them. This is not easy, especially if the stalker is an ex-partner with shared custody of children or if they are a work colleague. If you must communicate with your stalker, try to do so through a third party. However, if you must, keep calm and keep things businesslike. Take any threats seriously, including threats of suicide made by the stalker. This is particularly important when the two parties have previously been intimate.Be mindful that stalkers rarely go away quickly.”.
Outlining further steps which can be taken, he added: “Tell other people, such as family, friends, neighbours, and workmates, and get them to keep records of their communications with the stalker. If you think you are being stalked, keep a detailed log and save photos, videos, e-mails, letters, screenshots, car registration details, and medical evidence (psychological and physical). If saving these things is too upsetting, ask someone else to hold onto them.
“Boost your security by adjusting social media privacy settings, changing passwords, altering routines, asking friends to accompany you, and meeting with the police for personalised safety advice. Be aware of what stalkers are capable of. Stalkers can engage in stalking for many hours per week over months or even years, so remain alert. “Apply for a Restraining Order or a Stalking Protection Order. Stalkers often breach these, but this can give police an opportunity to make an arrest, and impose further restrictions on the stalker. And, finally, contact the police. Because stalking can be challenging to prove, you must provide the police with as much evidence as possible. This is why keeping a detailed log is essential.
