Seven signs your partner secretly hates you from holiday...

IF your partner is always busy, glued to their phone or watches your favourite TV show without you, it can seem they are avoiding you – and it may be so. Research found 69 per cent of people unhappy in their relationship spend more time alone. Natalie Clarke hears from behavioural psychologist Jo Hemmings about signs your partner may hate you . . . You might see this as positive, but how wrong you are.

Image Credit: The Sun [Portrait of Jo Hemmings.]

I see it in clients all the time when their relationship is breaking down. Your partner has gone from belittling you and being critical to saying nothing. You think, “That’s a relief, I’m not being nagged”. But it is sinister. They can’t be bothered even to undermine you any more, they don’t care enough to nag. It is a sign they’ve almost checked out, and is difficult to come back from. When your partner is suddenly glued to their screen, the immediate thought is: “They’re cheating.”.

Image Credit: The Sun [A couple arguing in their kitchen.]

But very often it’s not that they’re texting someone else, rather that they’re using their phone as a shield to protect themselves from you. Viewing a show together means snuggle-up time. But if your partner now tunes in alone or with friends, it’s again about avoidance. They don’t want to sit on the sofa with you. If their hand or knee accidentally touches yours, they will recoil. Watching the show with friends avoids intimacy and even having to have a conversation about it.

Image Credit: The Sun [A woman sits on a couch looking at her phone while a man sits beside her looking upset.]

Your partner can’t be bothered to engage with you, even about that. If necessary, they will watch the show alone — but they know that might invite difficult questions. One of the first things that people do when they start to hate their partner is avoid eye contact. But another sure sign is eye-rolling. People often aren’t even conscious they’re doing it, but if you catch your partner’s eyes heading skyward it’s a definite red flag.

Image Credit: The Sun [Woman with yellow backpack hiking in mountains.]

Your partner’s favourite topic used to be next year’s sunshine getaway, but now they don’t care if it’s Spain or Italy — or anywhere at all. That’s because they’re not planning on going away with you next year. They don’t see a future with you. In their mind, they’re somewhere else — away from you. A lack of interest in something they were interested in before is a danger sign — and another can be if they encourage you to go off somewhere nice on your own.

Image Credit: The Sun [Man washing a saucepan in a kitchen sink, woman standing in the background.]

They sound like they’re being kind but they just want space away from you. One survey found 23 per cent of people encouraged their other half to pursue solo activities when not happy in the relationship. It sounds unusual but is true. A study found people use formal language as a means to suppress emotional intimacy. You are now treated like someone at work. They might say phrases like, “Let’s table this”, or, “Let’s put a pin in it for now”.

It sabotages any emotional connection, putting you in a different role — colleague rather than lover. People do it subconsciously but it’s a subtle sign they’re moving aside from the relationship. If your partner knows Sunday mornings are time you set aside for intimacy, they’ll arrange something else. They might start DIY jobs they once put off at any cost. Keeping busy around the house means no risk of intimacy.