Sick of boring dinners ending in a handshake? I've just discovered Melbourne's sauciest date spot that sends women's libidos into overdrive: JANA HOCKING

Dates. I've been on some shockers in my time. The kind where you're clutching your margarita like a life raft while some guy mansplains the stock market like he's just discovered capitalism. Snore. Or the one who vanished halfway through a movie, only to return 20 minutes later with a full tray of sushi - just for himself - proceeding to chew through the last ten minutes like a human woodchipper. I've never wanted to pash someone less.

And then there are the dates so bad you're left weighing up whether it's more polite to fake a bathroom emergency or simply throw yourself into oncoming traffic. So, when I heard whispers of a museum in Melbourne designed entirely around desire, I had one thought: if this doesn't shake up the dating scene, nothing will. It's called the Museum of Desire, and I'll be honest, I was expecting something a little smutty, slightly creepy and a bit like those dodgy sex toy shops you wonder into during a 'girls night'. Kind of gross, but a good giggle.

What I wasn't expecting was a chic warehouse down a quiet backstreet in Melbourne's Collingwood, decked out in a way that looked more 'French boudoir' and less 'smutty Kings Cross sex shop'. But listen, it's not the kind of museum where you politely nod at an old painting and pretend you understand brushwork. No, this place is interactive, steamy (lots of nudity – but like, in a classy way) and engineered to do one thing: make you feel things. Tingly things. Down there.

Not just 'hmm, interesting' things. No, I mean the kind of things that turn a standard first date into a 'how soon can we get back to your place and rip each others clothes off' type-feeling. And it's glorious. When I heard whispers of a museum in Melbourne designed entirely around desire, I had one thought: if this doesn't shake up the dating scene, nothing will. From the moment I stepped inside, and through the Vulva tunnel - I kid you not, you have to first walk through a beautifully designed vulva tunnel - I could feel it. The neon glow. The sultry soundtrack humming in the background. The vibe. Oh, yes, I had just walked into a museum that had one thing on it's mind… sex.

It had the kind of exhibits that will have you exchanging that look with your date before the night is over. The exhibits strut a fine line between titillation and artistry, delivering everything from Confessions of a Photocopier - a room plastered floor-to-ceiling with blurry A3 printouts of visitors' bums, boobs, and other bits (don't worry, snapping a saucy photocopy isn't mandatory, but for the exhibitionists among us - looking at you, Kanye and Bianca - it's an open invitation. And honestly, you're already there, so why not? Let's just say I discovered a very unexpected angle of my own boobs) - to an entire wall of plaster-cast penises that feels like the MONA vulva wall's long-lost cousin.

And just when you think it can't get any more delightfully absurd, there's a History of Pubic Hair display featuring bathroom tiles embedded with actual pubes (good luck wiping those off) and, of course, a ball pit brimming with giant boobs. Because why not?. And it all comes from the brilliantly twisted minds of Correne Wilkie and Dave Strong. If Wilkie's name rings a bell, that's because she spent 22 years managing The Cat Empire before deciding it was time for a completely new adventure. A saucy adventure.

After they both toured the world, visiting various sex museums around Europe, had two realisations: 1. 'Sex sells' and 2. 'these places could be so much better'. Wilkie explained 'On the whole, they're pretty yuck and intimidating and not inviting spaces, but the idea is so amazing. We thought, "What could it look like if you created one that was classy, cool, sexy and artistic-lead instead?"'. And so the Museum of Desire was born - a space that sits somewhere between a funhouse and a fever dream, designed to spark curiosity, conversation... and perhaps get you a little hot under the collar.

What I wasn't expecting was a chic warehouse down a quiet backstreet in Collingwood, decked out in a way that looked more 'French boudoir' and less 'smutty Kings Cross sex shop'. Just when you think it can't get any more delightfully absurd, there's a History of Pubic Hair display featuring bathroom tiles embedded with actual pubes (good luck wiping those off) and, of course, a ball pit brimming with giant boobs.

What's particularly fascinating is that Wilkie and Strong didn't just want to create a place to ogle at erotic art. They saw a gap in how people were socialising and wanted to fill it with something that would awaken the senses. When I asked who they see coming through the doors of this museum, I was pleasantly surprised to discover it was everyday folk with a strong curiosity. Wilkie saying: 'The audience on any given day is just everyone. It demonstrates that we've landed in a place we really want to be, which is a really inclusive space. It's appealing broadly. We've been surprised by how brave and courageous everyone has been.