Donald Trump assumes office with promise to be the very bestest best
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God spared him to make America great again. Rejoice oilmen and climate change deniers, but immigrants watch out. They came in dribs and drabs, the unwanted, the uninvited and the unloved. First to arrive in Washington was Liz Truss, wearing a red Maga hat and a bright blue coat looking like an extra in a Paddington Bear film.
![[John Crace]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/uploads/2017/10/06/John-Crace,-L.png?width=180&dpr=1&s=none&crop=none)
Lizzie could be found standing on a street corner in downtown DC, screaming: “I used to be prime minister of the United Kingdom.”. “Of course you did,” said a kindly passerby, giving her a wide berth. “I did. I did. I really did,” she sobbed.
“Do you need help?”. “I’m fine. I’m fine. Anyone who says I crashed the economy will be getting a letter from my lawyers.”. “It’s OK, Ma’am,” said a police officer. “Time to move on. Do you have anywhere to go?”. Lizzie didn’t. She wasn’t quite sure why she had come to America now. When even Donald Trump doesn’t want to know you, then your sense of futility is complete. Maybe she could find an electrical goods store and watch the inauguration on a TV there.
The same went for Suella Braverman and Priti Patel. No place to go, no place to be. They had only come because they had hoped they were marginally more popular in the US than they were back at home. Priti had been sure that being found to have broken the ministerial code twice would guarantee her a front row seat. Turns out The Donald had some standards after all. Suella had even turned up on the same flight as the freelance halfwit Laurence Fox. Hard to tell who was the most embarrassed.
