Katherine Ryan opens up on fourth baby dream amid fertility struggle with husband Bobby

Katherine Ryan is keen to welcome a fourth baby with husband Bobby Kootstra, though she knows time isn't on her side. The former Celebrity Gogglebox regular talks sex, feminism, fertility, fashion, facelifts and motherhood in the second season of her hit U&W show, At Home With Katherine Ryan. After a successful launch which saw Katherine Ryan navigate life as a working mother, the series explores her relationship with Bobby as she takes him to therapy.

But the Masked Singer star also visits the fertility clinic to explore having a fourth child. Both 41, Katherine and Bobby Kootstra are aware they will struggle to conceive. “It’s not that surprising that over-40 women have fewer follicles than we once did,” says Katherine. “But we talk a lot about male fertility as well, which is on a steep decline. But I would still like a fourth baby. We are so blessed to have the kids that we do have. Having children is not for everyone, but I personally really like making people. I think it’s a superpower, if you can do it.”.

Unlike Katherine, Bobby Kootstra is virtually mute, something their marriage coach picked up on during a recent session where Katherine was surprised to learn she frequently speaks over her husband. “At first I thought, ‘That’s nonsense, he just doesn’t speak that much,’” says Katherine, 41. “But it’s true… I was interrupting him.”. Not every husband would agree to marriage therapy, especially when it’s filmed and broadcast on television, but Katherine found Bobby to be “very amenable.".

She adds: “You have to say ‘coaching’ or boys get scared. I never saw myself as someone who’d get married. It wasn’t an aspiration of mine for a lot of my life, and all of a sudden I reconnected with Bobby and we got married straight away.”. Their first five years of marriage have been full-on. There have been two babies, three miscarriages, a pandemic and, for Katherine, two national tours.

On top of that, Bobby moved to the UK from Canada, became a stepdad to Katherine’s 15-year-old daughter Violet and left a career, family and friends to be a house husband. “It’s been a busy five years and it’s really important to check in before there are any problems,” says Katherine, who happily admits she’s also mining her life for comedy.". Katherine continues: “My job in stand-up is to hold a mirror up to my audience, and hopefully they think I’m funny because they see themselves in my experiences.”.

Katherine and Bobby first dated when she was 15, before rekindling their romance in 2018 when she returned to Canada to film a BBC show. In the second series of At Home With Katherine Ryan, it’s not just their marriage that gets a check-up – Katherine also takes Bobby to see an intimacy coach about their sex life, which is being stymied by having a teenager and two toddlers at home. It’s not just the frequency that Kamasutra expert Seema Anand is disappointed with, it’s also the lack of variety. So how often do they have sex?.

“About five times a month,” says Katherine. “The national average is three. It’s not that we don’t want to, but we have a lot of policing in the house. Violet is in school, sure, but then the babies are there! It’s like when we were teenagers, because we used to hide from our parents and have to get creative. Now we have to hide from a teenager and get creative.”. On the show, the pair are asked to try sex tips such as listening to erotic audio together. Katherine is not a fan and remains unashamed about her prosaic sex life.

“Absolutely I’m still vanilla in the bedroom,” she says. “I have no interest in games or props or toys or audio erotica. We had no idea how prudish we actually were about sex until we invited the intimacy coach into our lives.”. For Katherine, it’s the sneaking around like teenagers that makes the sex fun – that and her favourite missionary position. “Maybe the brevity and danger of the way we have to have sex is enough,” she muses.

“I think a lot of the British viewing public are navigating the same issues. They probably want to have sex but maybe they’ve just eaten or they can’t be bothered or they’re too tired and they’re just not as willing to talk about it as much as we are!”. While Katherine doesn’t think her relationship with Bobby is in trouble, she has identified a “poisonous toxin”. “People will argue about finances or sleep,” says Katherine, “But I think under-appreciation is a real bad one, and that leads to a lack of respect and that’s the beginning of the end.

“Bobby and I have different strengths and different skills and we have different roles in our house but it’s really important to make sure your spouse feels appreciated.”. Growing up in the 1990s and early 2000s, Katherine spent a lot of time trying to be independent but sexy. These days, her brand of feminism has developed. She still loves fashion, but she’s dressing for herself, not for men.

“As a young woman, I wanted to be pretty, I wanted to subscribe to the male gaze,” explains Katherine. “Not only did I want to be pretty, I wanted to be sexy, I wanted to get breast implants, I wanted to work at Hooters, I wanted to be nice, I wanted to be a cheerleader… I wanted to be well-liked because the message from the girlband generation was that you would have the happiest life if you ticked those boxes.