LIZ JONES'S DIARY: In which I am sick of feeling stressed
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He says he can’t do Christmas, ‘so please understand that’. Feeling brave, I asked, ‘Does that mean I get New Year’s Eve?’. ‘Still planning Xmas, but NYE will be free.’. Hooray!. The poor man at Riverford is now tentatively putting organic man things back in my boxes. He’s sweating.
. The German later texted: ‘I have been hopeless. I don’t know why.’. Women fill in the blanks. He hasn’t tried because he doesn’t care enough. He thinks he has me in the bag. If he loved me, he would be desperately doing his best to make it up to me.
He is spending Christmas with his ex-wife and his child. I am wondering, does he have two bedrooms? Also, if I am his new girlfriend, why am I being shelved like organic beetroot, sidelined? Why do I never come first? Why not say to his ex, ‘Listen, I’m in a new relationship, it’s best you don’t stay with me, she has a column, so I will book a hotel.’ How would he like it if I invited David 1.0 for the festivities?.
New Year’s Eve has never really worked out for me. In Thailand, my then boyfriend fell asleep before midnight and missed the fireworks display on the beach. In London at a party in Brixton, I realised people were behaving oddly around me, whispering and pointing. I confronted my boyfriend. ‘One of our friends, whom we have since disowned – you can see she hasn’t been invited tonight – posted on Mumsnet that she saw you taking cocaine at a bonfire night party.’.
I’ve never even smoked a cigarette! I only took up drinking on Millennium Eve when the man I’d had sex with chose to go and watch the fireworks on the Embankment rather than spend the evening with me! I remember trying to leave that New Year’s Eve party early as I was so upset at the false accusation, but I couldn’t get a cab. It was just a day before I was smuggled into the Celebrity Big Brother house wearing The Row sunglasses and an Alexander Wang blazer. I was already imagining the headlines.
