It started with text messages, then he used technology to control my every move
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When Ariah first met Tom* at work in London, she was quickly swept off her feet. ‘He sought out lots of opportunities for us to work together or go to lunch,’ the 32-year-old, who is going by a pseudonym, tells Metro. ‘He said he’d never met anyone like me before – that he had such strong feelings for me.’.
![[body image issues]](https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/GettyImages-1293696418.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=509)
Things moved quickly and within a couple of months, the couple had moved in together. Even at this early stage in their relationship, Tom, who was ‘much older’ than Ariah, would send her dozens of text messages every day. ‘They were always very positive “I love you” and “I want to spend so much time with you” messages,’ she recalls.
But things got ‘quite unhealthy quickly’. When Ariah wanted to see friends, Tom incessantly messaged her asking why she didn’t want to spend time with him. He started telling her he didn’t like when she wore skirts, makeup, tights, and didn’t want her to try to look attractive when she was with other people.
![[Depressed stressed out married couple talking at home. Pregnancy problems.]](https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/GettyImages-1336927558.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=509)
When he needed money, Ariah took out ‘a large loan for him’ which went on to make it a lot harder to leave the relationship down the line. ‘There was always this promise that he’d give me the money in a month,’ she says. ‘It was a financial tie.’.
![[Unknown caller. White smartphone with incoming call from an unknown number on a wood table background. Incognito or anonymous]](https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/GettyImages-1214740590.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=509)
Soon, Tom’s lovey dovey messages turned controlling and even more incessant. ‘It wasn’t uncommon to get 25 phone calls in five minutes,’ Ariah remembers. ‘He would just ring until I picked up. The text messages could be up to hundreds a day.’.
![[Little girl holding white teddy bear. Young adult mother and daughter together looking out from window at home. Back view. Waiting, longing or sadness concept. Closeup.]](https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/GettyImages-1444511723.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=509)
