‘The best of both worlds’: people reveal why they are childfree by choice
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Those who decided not to have children speak about the friendship challenges, joys and questions they have faced. People who choose not to have children are sometimes questioned about their choice – whether they have made the right decision, or told perhaps they will change their mind. While medical problems mean some people are unable to have children, others choose to be childfree.
![[Jade, Kelly and Jack stand around a kitchen counter and make gingerbread biscuits]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/b989c92b1306283ebe45aefd3781f2364b0c8333/0_0_1500_1875/master/1500.jpg?width=445&dpr=1&s=none&crop=none)
The Guardian has explored how friendships can be affected when one person has offspring and another does not. Scores of people shared their experiences, with some expressing sadness at drifting apart from friends after children arrived, while others felt supported in their choice – and love being the fun aunt or uncle.
![[Yasmin Latif smiles as she holds a strawberry and a cocktail]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/4c37cefc03ca35b5fdf8ac29a7f6db1627f1672f/0_69_799_999/master/799.jpg?width=445&dpr=1&s=none&crop=none)
Like a lot of people who’ve never wanted children, I’ve always been told I’ll change my mind one day. It was even a factor in my divorce. “I thought you’d come around,” my ex-partner said. But I couldn’t think of anything worse than bringing a child into the world who wasn’t wanted.
![[Jay Fletcher smiles as she poses for a photograph in front of a door]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/6f6683a24cf2cf0f206ef39aa31f1e16b1b5a78f/0_2_1200_1500/master/1200.jpg?width=445&dpr=1&s=none&crop=none)
But I still love children. One of my oldest friends I met at uni, Kelly, is now happily married with a toddler, Jack. I genuinely love spending time with her little family. We meet up for National Trust woodland walks, and we baked gingerbread over Christmas. We’ve never questioned each other’s choices.
I think being both bisexual and neurodivergent (I’m AuDHD) gives me a slightly different perspective on what “the family” is. Being childfree, I love being able to act like a kid with my friends’ children! A lot of adults lose their joy as they get older, and it must be hard being a parent because you’re thinking about safety and care. But when I see Jack, I look like an oversized toddler.
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