The moment I knew: I’d never felt a palm so sweaty. I was smitten
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In a daggy Canadian nightclub, Clark Kent lookalike Clif asked Pilar Mitchell for a dance – and her life changed. It was Christmas night, I was 19, and my friend Carmel called. “Are you done with your family stuff?” she asked. Being done with family stuff was my personal brand, so her call was an instant salve. Then she said: “Clif wanted me to ask you to come out. We’re going to Legends.”.
![[Pilar and Clif at a friend’s wedding in Sydney in 2010.]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/61d4ae351e9fc8f36071905e323fbc3dadd2661a/0_0_1424_854/master/1424.jpg?width=445&dpr=1&s=none&crop=none)
Legends was a nightclub of near-last resort in the Canadian city where I grew up. There were worse places to go – the Boom Boom Room, for example – so it was lucky that Legends was open, even on Christmas Day. Clif and I had met a few nights before at a house party hosted by Carmel, who was also his flatmate. I was sitting on the floor with my friend when Clif walked in. He wasn’t supposed to be there, but his plans had fallen through, so he came home to join the gathering of uni mates.
![[The couple with their three sons]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/41022db03f1f700e51090e8ff21a0d541ebac183/0_0_4032_3024/master/4032.jpg?width=445&dpr=1&s=none&crop=none)
As he approached, I tried to calm my racing heart, certain this beautiful person was coming to talk to my friend. I was accustomed to boys talking to her – she’s always been enchanting – but when he spoke, he looked at me. I don’t remember what he said but I suppose we imprinted on each other, because when Carmel invited me out on Christmas night it felt as though fate was calling.
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