I babysit grown men for £150 an hour while they wear nappies

When sissy Sarah (the chap won’t tell me his real name) showed up on my doorstep nine years ago, I’d never taken care of an adult baby before. Especially not a 6ft 3, bald, beardy, slightly on the chunky side baby. Just typing those words makes my back ache, recalling how often I’ve yanked her from baths and held her hand to drag her sweaty, solid body up the stairs.

I’d done a little age play here and there, with people wanting to pretend to be a child in need of spanking, but with Sarah, being a baby was the main event. The first time we met, she brought all we needed: bottle, nappies, talc, wipes, baby bubble bath, milk, juice, blanket and a cuddly toy.

I gave her a bath and spanked her for splashing me, as previously agreed, then put her down for a nap, poured a mug of wine and turned the telly on – just like many real mummies do. As I sat there I wondered how long I should let her sleep, given she’d paid £600 for four hours of my service.

After twenty minutes I heard Sarah throwing stuff about, so assumed that was the end of mummy’s restorative me-time. I pushed a dummy into her greying chops and we played with her toys and watched cartoons. When I dropped her at the train station once the four hours had crawled past, she said ‘I love you, mummy!’ as I waved her away. ‘Now and forever, until the end of time…’ she added. Adult babies do tend to be clingy.

Nearly a decade on from my first steps into that world, I have four on my books now, and they all regularly threaten to move to my town – even into my house – to receive full-time care. It was at my next session with Sarah that she explained how she got into being an ABDL (adult baby diaper lover).

‘My earliest memory is of a party at my parents’ house,’ Sarah said, as she dressed back into her street clothes. ‘I was a toddler and did a really big poo in my pants. My mother changed me indifferently, but I remember thinking I should have been spanked, as I’d been naughty.

To me, spanking is caring and she was not being caring at all. So as an ABDL I feel that when people spank me, they care about me.’. Aged 13, she saw adult babies featured in a men’s magazine. ‘There was a woman standing in a cot, wearing just a nappy, sucking a dummy. I found the images fascinating.

‘Both my parents worked long hours, so I always came home to an empty house, and I’d reached the age where people start experimenting sexually. Soon after I popped to a chemist and bought some nappies for myself, although obviously they didn’t fit.

‘Then, a couple of years later, I was hanging out with a girl who’d decided she wanted to give up smoking by sucking on a dummy instead. I got a dummy to suck on too, claiming it would help her “feel less weird”, and it really escalated from there.’.

Sarah is as un-sissylike as you can imagine – a young looking 40-something, dressed in rugby shirt and jeans. ‘That’s the appeal of being a sissy baby,’ he explained. ‘It’s so different from my normal self.’. He has a high-powered job, where he’s in charge of a large team of people, constantly making decisions. Returning to babyhood is the ultimate escapism, the most efficient method he’s found to switch off from work and responsibility.

Sarah visited two professional mummies before me. On the first occasion, around fifteen years ago, he inhabited his baby self for 24 hours and paid £300. Baby Sarah was given bottles of formula and had her nappy changed, but didn’t much enjoy it. ‘Their house was dirty. And I was expected to slip straight into baby mode straight away, before connecting with the mummy on an adult level,’ he recalled. ‘It was more fetish-themed, too – there were pornographic magazines left in my cot.

The second time was more successful. ‘That time I spent £600 for six hours of babyhood. The house had an adult-sized cot, highchair, changing table; a full array of baby clothes and nappies, a TV playing constant cartoons, lots of reading and colouring books,’ he explained.

‘We chatted as adults for half an hour before I was taken to the cot, put in a nappy, whereupon all choices and responsibilities were taken from me. The cot feels like low level bondage. You’re enclosed, and safe. ‘It’s that sense of being cared for I want,’ he added. ‘Unlike a dominatrix, a mummy doesn’t want to inflict pain, but tenderness. It’s being done to you because it’s best for you. That’s what I love.’.

Sarah tends not to dress as a baby on his own, not having the time or space, and preferring to have someone else do it for him. Nonetheless, he does have a couple of romper suits and some nappies, a bottle and a dummy, hidden under the spare wheel in his car.

There’s also a nappy in his work bag he can hold when he needs to. Just knowing they’re close calms him. ‘It’s a delight not having to make any decisions. The first decision we all learn to make is whether or not to go to the toilet,’ he said. ‘Initially I found it quite difficult to pee in a nappy, but now I find it tricky to keep them dry. I’ve also tried using suppositories to soil my nappy too, but as soon as that happens, I want baby time to end. I want to be an adult again, clean up, take a shower, change.’.