I’m 44 & married toyboy who’s the same age as my son – I’m mistaken for his mum but the sex is great

WATCHING my gorgeous husband walk topless around our bedroom I know I've hit the jackpot. While our relationship has often raised eyebrows, I shrug at the haters, firm in the knowledge my sex life and happiness could not be better. The controversy? The thing that has everyone clutching their pearls? I'm 44 and my man is 22. Outrageous, right?. But it turns out that I'm not alone in cougar-ville. New research has found that women - in equal numbers to men - are now seeking younger partners.

As a mum-of-six who has dated her fair share of toyboys I'm confident in saying, ladies, you will not regret it. Yes, people have mistaken me from my man's mum. Yes, my own mother wasn't that impressed at the start. And, yes, strangers stare. But, so what? I couldn't be more loved up. I've been wed three times and I know this time it's for life. I married my first husband in 2003, when I was 23. He was my childhood sweetheart, and we’d met when we were both just 15.

We divorced in 2009 when I was 29, and by then was a mum to my three oldest boys, now 22, 20 and 19. It was only when I started dating again at 30 that I admitted to myself what I’d suspected for ages. I just wasn’t attracted to guys my own age, and definitely not to those who were older. For years my girlfriends had gone for that kind of man, drawn to their maturity and money. When they chatted me up though, I just saw boring guys who were already losing their hair, not 'silver foxes'.

Then in 2010 a guy liked my picture on Facebook. I was 30, he was 24, and I was instantly drawn to his up-for-it attitude and energy. We had two sons together, now 15 and 14, before marrying in February 2013. We then had a daughter, now 10, in July 2014. But by 2015 we were divorced. The breakdown of our marriage wasn’t caused by our age gap, and the decade between me and my next boyfriend wasn’t a factor either. But when I was 40, and dating a 22-year-old, the raised eyebrows and comments were endless.

On holiday together in 2020 we were clubbing when a group of lads said kindly, ‘It’s so nice that you’ve come on holiday with your mum.’ I was mortified. But still, I loved the energy that younger guys had. My sons were always telling me that I didn’t act my age, and to me that was a compliment. I was 40 but still wanted to have fun, to make the most of every minute and found that it was the younger men who had that zest for life that matched mine.

Hearing he was 20 I felt a wave of panic. He was the same age as my eldest son. Unlike the 50-year-old guy who messaged me on Instagram. When I tried to let him down gently, explaining that his uninvited topless pics didn’t do anything for me, he was furious. He wrote that I’d never find a younger guy to take on me and my ‘baggage’. I thought, I’ll show him!. Me and the 22-year-old split but when I was back on Tinder in July 2022, I didn’t even set an age range.

When I saw that a gorgeous young guy called Byron had swiped me, I didn’t hesitate. He hadn’t listed his age, but that didn’t matter. He knew mine because I celebrated it, I wasn’t ashamed of being 42. In fact, I’d learned that for lots of young men, it was a huge attraction. As our messages flew, I felt such a strong connection. He was a dad to a one-year-old daughter, had his own place and worked hard as a plumber, so I knew he was responsible. But he also had such an incredible, youthful vibe. I was just drawn to him.

Three weeks later we had Sunday lunch with his daughter at his house, and he was just as gorgeous in real life. When we said goodbye with a wave, I didn’t know if he liked me, and our second date at a street food festival with both of our daughters ended with a super awkward hug. Then on our third date, this time on the beach without any children, his phone pinged with a message from his mum. She was asking how our date was going. He’d already told her everything! Seeing Byron’s confidence about me was amazing. That’s when I asked how old he was.

Hearing he was 20 I felt a wave of panic. He was the same age as my eldest son, they even had their birthdays the same week. For a week I thought it over. Was the age gap just too big? But he was handsome, kind and fun. What did it matter if there were 22 years between us? When I told Byron I wanted us to be together he was thrilled. My sons were amazing from the start. I didn’t have any nerves about them meeting Byron a few weeks after we got together, even once we’d realized that he’d been at the same college as my eldest. Thankfully they got on brilliantly and there wasn’t any weirdness.

It wasn’t quite so easy with my mum. A month into our relationship, I went on a girls’ holiday and Byron stayed at my house. Mum, who knew nothing about him, found him asleep in my bed. The poor guy woke up to her saying ‘who on earth are you?. She wasn’t happy and couldn’t understand why I kept going for younger men. I think she wanted to protect me from being hurt. Thankfully he won her over and soon she was telling me what a lovely, hardworking guy he was.