I’m judged for sleeping with 75 people – a boss begged me to stop bedding colleagues, but it’s made me a better wife

TOPPING up her lipstick in the tiny toilet cubicle on a flight from London Heathrow to New York JFK Airport, Nichi Hodgson fixed her hair and straightened her skirt. Then, opening the door of the economy toilet, she walked down the crowded aisle to her seat, a huge grin plastered on her face. “I was 26 at the time and looked like any other traveller. “But what the other passengers didn’t know was that I’d just had sex in the toilet - and there was a man still in there, discreetly waiting to sneak out,” mum-of-one Nichi recalls.

“He was a new lover and we were travelling for a romantic trip. It was 2011, my first Mile High experience, and we both loved the naughtiness of it. "When I opened the door afterwards, two passengers sitting near the toilets gave me shocked looks and a third smirked at me. My loo liaison had not been as quiet as I had thought. “The economy toilets were tiny. Sex in such a small space had to be fast and furious, requiring flexibility.”.

The encounter took Nichi’s sex count to 45 and since then it’s risen to more than 75 - although she stopped after meeting entrepreneur husband Ferdie, 50, on dating site happn in July 2017 and marrying him at Marylebone Registry Office in Central London in November 2020. My boss called me one day and begged me to stop sleeping with my colleagues. Nichi's eye-watering number - which also includes romps in a shared office space and with men with 10inch members - is 72 more than the average Brit's figure of three, according to a 2023 YouGov survey.

Still pro-sex - she plans to tell daughter Jane*, 22 months, about  owning her on sexuality when she’s old enough - Nichi opted to speak out and reveal why her high sex count has made her a better wife and mother. Nichi says: “I can almost feel the judgement people are making reading this. “They're horrified, convinced I am trying to tie up my sex partner count in a bow of acceptability. “Some women rationalise that I am trying to negate my active love life by cloaking myself in a shroud of so-called sexual empowerment to justify my bedroom tally.”.

Instead Nichi argues her sexual history has allowed her to learn which relationships and type of partner are toxic. She says she embraces her past without a sense of shame, and marriage is just a new chapter of her life. “I know having a range of terrible relationships enabled me to identify a good man when I met him ,” she says. “I could have settled earlier with someone who didn’t respect me. I would have ended up miserable, unhappy and full of shame or regret.

“I have seen so many people’s marriages end in divorce. I was determined to try to be different. “Rather than trying to ‘change’ men in relationships I saw the red flags fast and fled. “I chose the road less travelled. I slept with more than 75 people to learn what I needed in and out of the bedroom. “It’s enabled me to have the confidence to be the wife and mother I am today. “I didn’t set out to have so many partners or so much sex. It wasn’t a mission I set myself.

“It was the result of me maturing and finally learning what I needed and wanted. “I wasn't doing it out of curiosity. I didn't want to settle for second best like so many people often do. “To find ‘my definition of Mr Perfect’ I had to learn who was right for me, not just in bed but in a long-term committed relationship. “I didn't want to be wondering ‘what if?’ I needed to know what I wanted and how to trust myself in finding my Mr Perfect. That’s what I learnt from my sex tally.".

I slept with more than 75 people to learn what I needed in and out of the bedroom. Nichi says when many women say ‘I do’ there is also a sense of ‘What if?’. “I didn't have that when I married Ferdie,” she says. "I knew I had tried the grass on all sides of the fence, and it wasn’t greener. “We all go into marriage with some delusions or sometimes fairytale expectation of our partners. “Feeling that certain meant I was confident I was ready to marry and confident I was ready to be a mother.

“When you have that level of certainty it means you can give those roles your full attention. “I know what I want, how to ask for it and I know I am ready for the maturity of motherhood and marriage. "Some people get that by sleeping with three men. I needed to sleep with 75 people to discover myself but also the wrong type of person for me. “I knew my husband was perfect for me. I was ready to marry and to be a mum that was the result of my personal and sexual evolution.".

The most searched sex positions... Follow our sex positions page for more. She told how Ferdie has only dated around 20 women - but has no qualms about her much higher number. Meanwhile, Nichi has also slept with those boasting 3inch penises, women and men in their 50s when she was in her 20s. She was below the age of consent at just 15 when she lost her virginity with her school boyfriend, who was the same age.