It's more than 10 years since Tinder launched its way into our phones - and our love lives - promising romance at the swipe of a thumb. Just under five million adults in the UK visited an online dating service (app and websites) last year, according to Ofcom's Online Nation Report. But analysts are questioning whether the novelty is starting to wear off, as usage of the 10 biggest apps dropped 16% between 2023 and 2024.
Tinder revolutionised romance as the first dating app in 2012 - and it is still the largest one in Match groups portfolio. But even it lost more than half a million users in the last year. "Dating fatigue" appears to dominate the cultural landscape - some 78% of dating app users say they feel "emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted" by them, according to a 2024 study by Forbes Health, and a 2023 YouGov survey found that 46% of Brits say their dating app experiences have been bad.
I have stayed off the apps entirely, except for one impulsive evening with Hinge - one of the more popular ones among my age group. I'm not sure love can be found through swiping on a screen, and it seems I'm not alone. So what exactly has gone wrong with finding modern love - and how can we hope to find a connection?. Frogs and filters. With 10% of adults visiting a dating site - and almost 4% visiting one daily according to Ofcom - there is no sign they are going anywhere fast, even if numbers are dropping.
Among the newcomers is Cherry. It categorises users into three "vibes" - casual, go-with-the-flow and meaningful - to match intentions and ensure genuine connections. There are also coaches available on the app because the CEO Jo Mason believes people need to work on themselves before embarking on relationships with others. "They're hiding behind filtered photos, they're hiding behind a phone, they're hiding behind something all the time," Jo says.
The app's slogan is "kiss fewer frogs", and the brand ambassador - a frog's mask - is sitting on the table next to us. According to a Cherry study, 58% of people dating feel exhausted by the process of swiping and superficial interactions, while 40% say their motivation to meet someone has decreased as a result. Jo tells me she built Cherry out of "frustration", adding: "Your options of trying to meet someone are either at the gym, bump into them at the supermarket, or through work, other than that it's apps.".
'Dating just seems to be all admin'. Thursday, an app launched in 2021, operates exclusively one day a week on - you guessed it, Thursdays - to encourage quick decision-making and in-person meetings. Co-founder George Rawlings and I meet as we head to an over-30s singles event for users of the app in London at The Shard. "We're trying to destigmatise that whole thing around speed dating to make it normal," George tells me.
"Is it awkward?" I ask, letting my intrusive thoughts win. He laughs. "This is a different way of dating, we have obviously become so reliant on the apps for years but we're giving people new opportunities to meet people in an 'IRL' way'.". I still can't believe how that phrase - in real life - has become an acronym, but at the same time, it is not surprising. "My resolution for this year is to meet someone organically," one man tells me at the event.
"[Dating] isn't as fun as it used to be, now it just seems to be all admin," another says. A family member told me the same thing that week - going through the apps these days is like reading and responding to emails. One person likens it to a networking event: "There is an unspoken pressure that everyone is single.". As I finish speaking to someone, a man approaches me and asks what I am filming. When I tell him anyone who hasn't given consent won't be identified, he looks relieved.
"Phew," he says, laughing. "Because my wife will kill me if she finds out I am here.". So what happens if you ditch the apps?. On the theme of meeting in real life, my friends and I - over 30 and single - decided to go out one evening in London to see the dating scene for ourselves. Perhaps the future of dating isn't found in an app but in the world right in front of us. But we were wrong. We didn't get approached once.
People are glued to their phones - from texting in the middle of conversations to scrolling through dating apps while sitting across from someone at dinner, it seems we are physically present but mentally elsewhere. Be the first to get Breaking News. Install the Sky News app for free. It felt like a brave act just going up to people and talking or asking dating questions. "I feel a woman should never go look for a man," one of my friends tells me afterwards. "That is probably why I am still single - because a lot of girls do shoot their shot now, they have the confidence to ask guys out.
