As Valentine’s Day looms, Olivia Petter speaks to author and podcaster Elizabeth Day and ‘Married at First Sight’ dating expert Mel Schilling about the common mistakes we’re all making in our pursuit of love.
Going through the rejection and disappointment is part of it, and learning to bounce back is a vital part of building your dating resilience.” Part of this is also about not allowing yourself to spiral into a pit of negativity following one bad dating experience.
“As a writer, it is an occupational hazard where I would take the slenderest filament of fact from having matched with someone on an app, and I would invent the most romantic narrative, a story that would end with walking down the aisle to string quartets and rose petal confetti scattered by his adorable goddaughter,” says Day.
“I definitely think that’s where I went wrong, and I think the reason it affects single women in particular is because so many of us have been raised in a culture that expects us to be kind and pleasant and pliable and thoughtful and quote, unquote, feminine – and we still have so far to go in order to unpack those sort of socially conditioned values.” This is particularly true among those of us who have a tendency to people-please.
“Mel and I talk a lot on the podcast about the importance of dating yourself and the importance of getting to know yourself first,” says Day.
