Dear Coleen. I’m a man in my early 40s and have been living a double life for nearly a year, and I don’t know how to get myself out of the situation I’ve created. My wife and I went through a rough patch a while ago and were arguing a lot. I was angry with her for a few reasons, but mostly because she puts a lot of pressure on me financially to keep up with her mates.
I started seeing someone else, which at first was just the odd dinner and night in a hotel, but then I started taking more risks and bringing her back to our house when my wife was away staying with her mother. To be frank, I enjoyed taking the risk and I enjoyed doing something I knew would hurt her. I’m not proud of the way that I behaved.
Now, I want out of the affair and I want to make my marriage work. My wife recently confessed she’d been unhappy since moving away from her family, and says she doesn’t have any real friends where we are now. She admitted she’s been struggling and even seeing the GP for antidepressants. She wants us to move back home and make a fresh start, which I want, too. But I don’t know whether to come clean about the affair.
If I do, she could leave me but, if I don’t, and she finds out somehow, then it could be worse. I don’t want to live my life worrying about her finding out. What would you do?. Coleen says. I think there’s a good chance your wife will find out, possibly via the other woman or her friends. These days, it’s very easy to get hold of people through social media. So, if you don’t tell your wife, you’re taking another risk, and you might end up paying for it.
