When Dave Sowry's wife decided to end her life at Dignitas, her devoted husband put his own heartache to one side to offer his unfailing support. In September 2022, he flew over to the Swiss assisted dying clinic Dignitas with beloved wife Christy Barry, who'd made the incredibly difficult decision to die on her own terms. Academic researcher Christy had been diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis (MS) - a chronic, incurable disease that affects a person's central nervous system (CNS).
Christy's health declined to the point where she was left unable to stand on her own. She also developed epilepsy, and experienced excruciating neuropathic pain, leaving her "suffering unbearably". By February 2022, aged just 62, Christy had applied for Dignitas membership, a choice which gave her an "enormous sense of relief", according to a diary entry she'd penned at the time. Now Dave, 68, has spoken out in defence of a controversial proposal made by Kim Leadbetter, the Labour MP behind the push for assisted dying to be legalised in the UK.
In a significant change to the bill, which passed its first hurdle in the Commons back in November, it emerged last night instead of approaching a High Court Judge for approval, those wanting to opt for assisted suicide will instead face a multi-disciplinary panel of experts. Those in opposition to the change, including Conservative MP Danny Kruger, a vocal opponent to assisted dying, fear this could result in a lack of impartiality, amid concerns over safeguarding.
However, for Dave, the news heralds a "move in the right direction", with the still-grieving widower arguing that those facing death don't need the added 'intimidation' of the court system. He told the Mirror: "I think dealing with High Court judges - just the very name itself could be quite intimidating. And it will be much easier to have a proposing and organising commission. "And it takes it outside of this central court process which is already under tremendous strain, but also I think that's a very good point, it will be much easier to have a less intimidating atmosphere for the applicants.".
Describing the shift to an expert panel as a "definite improvement", Dave, from London, continued: 'It sounds wonderful, a High Court Judge, but the reality is you want people on the ground with expertise. The whole thing must be applicant centred.". He continued: "At the end of the day, we've got people in the last weeks and months of their life, the last thing they want is to be lost in bureaucracy. It's got to be, on the one hand, simple and straightforward and, at the same time, robust. And I think a panel will be much better placed to do this.".
The process, sadly, is one he knows all too well. He fell in love with Christy after connecting on dating site Guardian Soulmates in 2002, back when they were both in their forties and got married three years later. They led active lives, with their first holiday together being a ski trip. But then, after exhibiting worrying symptoms, academic researcher Christy was diagnosed with MS - a chronic, incurable disease that affects a person's central nervous system.
Dave, who became Christy's full-time carer, told the Mirror: "It was like watching somebody ageing but on fast forward. She went from 50 to 100 in about six years.". Christy, who was forced to retire due to ill health in 2012, had gone from being a fiercely independent woman to requiring care in all areas of her life, all while "suffering unbearably". In February 2022, Christy made the difficult decision to apply for Dignitas membership, writing in her diary at the time that the option to die gave her an "enormous sense of relief". Looking back on this turning point, Dave reflected: "People have no idea what it's like to actually sit down and seriously make the decision that 'I do not want to live anymore'.
"It's just such a huge decision to have to make. You know, getting married or moving house or whatever - all these other things that are stressful in your life pale into insignificance behind making a decision like that.". The next steps were of course far from simple. Upon her application. Christy didn't have a particular time frame in mind, but knew that the process would be "long and drawn out", with a personal statement and biography required alongside medical records. It wasn't until August of that year that Dignitas gave Christy the 'green light'.
In a poignant final letter addressed to friends and family, which Dave posted for her on his return journey to the UK, Christy said: "I've had a very rich and full life, but my MS has been rapidly and frighteningly worsening of late; I cannot go on. My MS has crept up slowly on me over the past 10 years, bit by bit, removing more of my bodily functions… So please don't judge me harshly for making this decision to bring the curtain down.".
