Josué and Sebastián agree that seeing other people doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. In fact, it’s brought them closer. How do you do it? Share the story of your sex life, anonymously. It’s not cheating or replacing one another, it’s accepting that we both have urges.
Everyone is different when it comes to sex. I’m the type of person who needs a special occasion to get me in the mood, such as a date, rather than just being in bed and saying, “let’s have sex”. Sharing my personal space and sleeping together is enough intimacy for me.
Sebastián is different. He’s more direct and could have sex at any moment. It’s more of a physical urge for him, whereas I need to build a profound connection. It’s never really been a problem, although I think he gets frustrated at times and wonders if I’m just making up excuses. But I explain to him that even just sharing a bed is a kind of sexual intimacy for me.
We’ve been together for eight years, so of course he knows how to push my buttons and how my body will naturally respond to his touch. He can still get me started even when I’m cranky or tired. Over the years a lot has changed in our relationship, not necessarily in a bad way. A few years ago Sebastián had an encounter while on a trip. It was just a blowjob and he told me about it straight away and said it didn’t mean anything. It was a surprise, but from that point we decided that I could do the same. We agreed to give each other the freedom to meet other people – not to start a relationship, but to flirt with other guys and use apps to date if that’s what we feel like doing. It’s not cheating or replacing one another, it’s accepting that we both have urges, that we might find other guys attractive.
