This is how we do it: ‘At 96, I’m enjoying real intimacy for the first time in my life. I feel like a teenager’
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Both widowed and in their 90s, Elizabeth and Alfred are enjoying a passionate, loving relationship that belies their years. How do you do it? Share the story of your sex life, anonymously. He never stays over. I think he’s worried someone will see his car in the drive, so he goes home at midnight.
I was married for over 50 years, but in my 90s I feel I’m experiencing real intimacy for the first time. With Alfred, it’s passionate, gentle, relaxed and loving. We’ve had sex, but mostly we cuddle and kiss on the sofa. My mobility is a bit limited as I’ve had a hip operation, but that doesn’t get in the way of sex. I feel like a teenager, excited by him. I fancy him.
Physically, it’s better with Alfred than it was with my husband. Though he isn’t even my partner, there’s more affection and intimacy between us. Even holding hands feels more loving than anything I’ve felt before. I’ve known Alfred since he and his wife moved to the area decades ago – she went to the same pottery class as me. After she died, he started inviting me for car rides and lunches. Now we have a passionate companionship.
Physical touch has always been the most important part of a relationship for me. But when I was younger it made me feel insecure; I worried I was doing the wrong thing. My husband and I started going out when I was 17 but we didn’t marry until my mid-20s, so we waited seven years to have sex.
When you get to our age and you’re alone, there’s a certain amount of loneliness, so it’s nice to have someone to spend time with. Alfred comes in the evenings or we go to the cinema, and I see him at church. Sometimes we drive to a lake and sit in the car, watch the ducks and have an ice-cream.
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