Dear Jana,. I recently had a conversation with my husband that left me completely blindsided. He confessed that he has a fantasy of me sleeping with other men - but not in a way that suggests he's unhappy in our marriage. In fact, he says he would love to hear all the details afterwards and that it would turn him on. At first, I laughed it off, thinking he was joking, but he keeps bringing it up in different ways.

He's suggested I 'flirt a little' when I'm out with friends, just to see how it feels, or even download a dating app 'just for fun'. He insists he would never cheat on me and this has nothing to do with a lack of attraction or love between us. But I can't help but feel… unsettled. Our sex life has always been great, and I've never felt the need to stray, so this sudden revelation has me questioning everything.

Is this just a harmless kink that some couples explore, or is this a red flag that points to something deeper? Could this be a sign he wants to cheat but is projecting it onto me? I love my husband, but I never thought I'd be in a marriage where something like this was even a topic of conversation. How do I even begin to approach this?. Anonymous. Dear Anonymous,. Congrats! You've just discovered your husband's kink! And, honestly, good on him for being open about it. You'd be horrified by how many couples are too afraid to share their fantasies with each other (what a waste of a saucy sex life).

Mail+ columnist Jana Hocking offers some words of advice to a woman who has been blindsided by her husband's sexual kink: cuckolding. So, first things first, pat yourself on the back for having the kind of relationship where these conversations can actually happen. What he's describing is called cuckolding (yep, there's a name for it), and while it might sound a little shocking at first, trust me, it's way more common than you think.

In fact, men confess this to me all the time in my DMs. Just take a look at the booming popularity of the swinging scene right now. People love the thrill of watching!. Now, take a deep breath and relax, because no, I don't think this is a red flag, and I'm 99.9 per cent sure this isn't a sneaky way of him saying he wants to cheat. It's actually the opposite - the fantasy is all about seeing you being adored by someone else. And look, if I wasn't such a green-eyed monster, I'd probably find it kinda hot too. Sadly, jealousy would eat me alive. But for a lot of couples, this works, and I tip my hat to them.

So, how do you handle it? The key here is not to treat it like some serious relationship crisis. Avoid the dreaded 'we need to talk' opener (seriously, no one likes hearing that). Instead, bring it up when the mood is light and flirty. Something like, 'Alright, tell me more about this cheeky little fantasy of yours…' This way, he knows you're at least open to the discussion, even if you're not necessarily on board with acting it out.

From there, it's all about what you feel comfortable with. Maybe you don't want to go all in on the fantasy, but you could play with the idea in a different way - like talking about wild experiences from your past to get him worked up. That alone might be enough to scratch the itch. And if it's not your thing? That's fine too. Just because someone shares a fantasy doesn't mean you have to fulfill it. Sometimes, simply talking about it is enough to keep the spark (and boner) alive.

Jana says exploring sexual fantasies with a partner is a good thing for a relationship. So lean in, hear the man out, and see where the conversation takes you. But remember, you set the boundaries, and there's always a middle ground to explore. The other night, my wife came home late (and very drunk) after a night out with her friends. As she was getting into bed, she mumbled something about 'kissing someone' but then immediately laughed, said she was joking, and brushed it off like it was nothing.

At the time, I let it go, but now I can't stop thinking about it. Was it really a joke? Or was this one of those drunk confessions that accidentally slipped out?. To make matters worse, the next morning, I noticed a bruise on her thigh. When I asked about it, she shrugged and said she must've bumped into something while out - but now my brain won't stop spiraling. I know bruises don't automatically mean cheating, but I can't help but wonder if there's more to the story. I've asked a female friend about it and she said I'm acting crazy, but a male friend said I need to confront her.

I don't want to seem insecure or accuse her of something unfairly, but I also can't shake this gut feeling that something happened. If I bring it up now, days later, do I just look paranoid? Or is this something I should be confronting her about?. Dear Jeff,. What you have here is a self-sabotaging girlfriend (or, in your case, wife). Oh, how I know her well. She's the kind of woman who, when things are going too well, finds a way to stir the pot.