'Sex with my hot new bloke is wild but he does not excite me out of the bedroom'
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Dear Coleen. I’ve been going out with someone for a few months, but don’t know whether he’s right for me. The sex is hot, so there are no problems in that department, but I’m struggling to connect with him on a deeper level, even though on paper we’re so well matched.
We’re a similar age – late-20s – and are interested in lots of the same things. I find him really attractive and he’s a nice person too. However, with previous boyfriends I’ve had, it’s felt more like love I guess, and I don’t feel it in this relationship.
I don’t know whether he’s holding back or putting up barriers because I still don’t feel I really know him. Or maybe we just don’t click with each other apart from in bed. It’s quite hard to explain. As I say, the sex is great, so I always get excited about seeing him and have a great time. It’s just afterwards, I feel a bit deflated like there isn’t much to him or our relationship.
I know I’m still young but, equally, I don’t to waste time with someone who doesn’t give much of themselves. I also don’t want to let go of a good thing. I’m confused. Please help!. Coleen says. Sometimes you meet people who you’re compatible with sexually and there’s amazing physical chemistry, but not much else, and that’s fine unless you’re looking for a relationship. If you think you might want something serious, maybe he’s not The One, but if you’re up for having a nice time and great sex, then there’s nothing wrong in that.
Maybe it’s time for a sit-down conversation to get to the heart of how you’re both feeling. For all you know, he could be really into you, but is the type of person who finds it hard to express their emotions – some people are quite emotionally constipated. But maybe he’s showing it through sex. Don’t be afraid to have conversations – it’s much easier to talk to your partner than to keep guessing how they’re feeling and overthinking every little thing that happens.
