DOCTOR and author Emily MacDonagh, 35, on overcoming shyness and how marrying Peter Andre forced her out of her comfort zone. For me, the biggest clue about self-confidence is in the name. It has to come from yourself, and it’s about looking at yourself with kindness, and accepting your strengths and weaknesses. That’s what I’ve always tried to do in every area of my life. I’m naturally shy, so I’ve always struggled with things like public speaking and standing up in front of people, to the point where I can feel that horrible, tingling feeling rising up from my chest into my neck, and I get so nervous I blush.

As a child, although I always had friends and was very sociable, when the teachers were casting a school play, I’d try to avoid it completely or just play the role of a tree!. Public speaking remained really challenging as I got older, and I struggled in job interviews. But prior to studying medicine at Bristol University, I went travelling for a year, which was a great confidence boost, as it taught me that I could survive away from home.

It made me more independent, which really helped me through the first two years of a very intense uni course. But the real sea change in my confidence came when I met Pete, who has always been incredibly supportive. When I sat my final exams, all my fellow students were massively stressed-out, but I’d just made the decision to move from Bristol to Surrey to be with Pete, and I took my exams 10 months after having our first child, Millie, in 2014 [they also share son Theo, now eight, and 10-month-old Arabella].

Initially, I was like: “How am I going to get through this with a young baby?” but having Millie gave me perspective. I had to be very regimented about the hours I could get help with childcare, so that I could revise, then feed Millie, bathe her and put her to bed. Even though I wasn’t able to spend as many hours studying as everybody else, the fact that I knew Millie was happy and healthy and that I’d made my hours really count helped me feel calmly confident.

In the end, I did well. Pete being in the public eye has also meant I had to get better at stepping out of my comfort zone. His confidence has rubbed off on me, though, and I find attending events much less nerve-wracking than I used to. Of course, I’ve experienced low moments. I always try to be nice and polite to people, and I believe that you get back what you put into a situation. Moving jobs every four months after I completed my medical training and being continuously thrown in at the deep end was really challenging.

I can catastrophise sometimes, but when I do, I try to catch those negative thoughts and just accept I’ve had a bad day. I’m certain my mum’s advice has also been indispensable. She always used to say to me: ”How do you eat an elephant? In bite-sized chunks. Don’t try to eat it all at once, as it will be way too much.”. That’s how I’ve approached hurdles in my life. It was like: “Move to Bristol, that’s fine. Revise for exams, I can do that. Sit exams, no problem.” Just focus on one bit at a time.

Pete is amazing at giving well-timed compliments, and has been with me every step of the way. Pete is amazing at giving well-timed compliments, and has been with me every step of the way. Without him, I’d never have had the confidence to do things like write the series of mental health books I had published last year, which has given me the biggest confidence boost of all. I always try to be nice and polite to people, and I believe that you get back what you put into a situation.

And although I’ve had to grow into living in the limelight, there’s no point trying to be something you’re not – I’ve always been me. I’m 35 now and am at my most confident. Even though I know I could go to the gym more often and that I’ve got a few more grey hairs and could be more toned, I know I’m alright. I’m happy with myself and that’s the key to self-confidence for me. I try not to be too critical or perfect, and I also try to accept other people, as well as myself.