ASHLEY James has opened up about suffering crippling postnatal depression that was the “hardest thing to overcome.”. The former Made In Chelsea star and dj, 37, shared a candid post on Instagram about times when her life felt it “was not going to plan” and how she learned to cope. Before meeting advertising executive partner Tom Andrews, 32, with whom she shares little ones Ada and Alfie, Ashley says she "never wanted kids.".

And going through the process was extremely tough, she revealed. The mum-of-two wrote: “Probably the best lesson I’ve learned recently, is that happiness isn’t about everything in your life going well, it’s about learning to ride the waves. “I used to think that happiness was always about everything going well. But now I realise that it’s more about being able to cope when things don’t go well.

“Because sadly, all the motivation, hard work and positive thinking cannot stop life coming at us.”. She shared a series of examples of times in life where things hadn’t gone according to plan, including being cheated on by her first love, moving universities, being fired from her first job, and leaving Made in Chelsea after three months. Ashley continued: “I remember all of these specific periods in life - and all the other ones that aren’t on this carousel - that made me feel like life was not going to plan.

“I remember all the breakups and feeling like I’d never ever be happy again! All the career set backs - honestly I could write a book about the rejections and things that almost happened. “Probably the biggest and hardest thing to overcome was postnatal depression - if that’s what you want to call it. “Feeling like I’d never be able to find the old me again and that it was ‘permanent’!.

“Well I look at all these things now and I know that they’ve given me the strength to know that no matter what life has in store - because there will be tough things ahead for all of us - I can handle it. “I hope this inspires anyone who needs it.”. Her post seems to have encouraged other women, with one fan commenting: “I love your honesty!”. Another added: “You’re my hero! You’re so incredibly inspiring and really showed those who tried to put you down what you’re capable of.”.

Ashley previously admitted she "never wanted kids” and said: "It's not like I ever envisioned my life as one day I'll be a mum, I always wanted to be child-free.”. But when Ashley gave birth to her son, Alfie, during lockdown and spent the first six months "in total bliss", she thought that change of heart would last. It was only when the world began opening up again she realised how much her life had changed and longed for her old life back.

"All my reasons why I didn't want to be a mum, I felt I was living that reality," she said. "Then you'd feel guilty for ever wanting to wish a child away because obviously you love them and want the best for them.". Speaking on the Made by Mummas podcast, the presenter also explained how her birthing experience left her "traumatised". During her labour, despite wanting pain relief, Ashley said she was denied any.

I remember all the breakups and feeling like I’d never ever be happy again! All the career set backs - honestly I could write a book about the rejections and things that almost happened. "They kept not only brushing me off, but telling me 'if you let us do this then we'll give you pain relief.'. "So it was the physical checks that were honestly agony," she explained. "They basically pinned me down and forced me to do these checks and [the pain relief] never came.".

Because she gave birth during lockdown, Ashley claimed she also had to "beg" to have partner Tom in the hospital with her. This meant the "positive mindset" she had before going into labour quickly faded. "Because I've run a few London marathons, I know that I can kind of push my body past pain. "But it was when I got there that things started to feel wrong – as I was in constant pain, 18 hours of pretty severe pain," the former Made In Chelsea star told fans on Instagram.

DESPITE coming to public attention on the fourth series of Made In Chelsea in 2012 — the E4 show about privileged young Londoners — Ashley was living off her overdraft and putting on a posh accent. She was raised in a “small town in the North East” by parents she describes as “very Geordie” and got her first taste of the showbiz industry when she did some work experience at Radio Cumbria aged 16.

Ashley appeared on Celebrity Big Brother in 2018 before becoming a DJ with gigs at top clubs such as London’s Ministry of Sound. In recent years she has been best known as a “mum influencer”, although Ashley considers the term “derogatory” and says it has led to online abuse. The trolling got so out of control that malicious followers reported her to social services for allegedly neglecting her children.