I was married for 17 years with a good sex life but I didn't love my husband. Now aged 56, I know why... and am revealing the brutal truth I know is so common in marriages: JANE BROOK

Source: Mail Online

Published: Jan, 24 2025 01:46

How many times have I heard the phrase 'better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'?. Sympathetic friends trotted it out when my 17-year-marriage ended, again when a year-long relationship fizzled out, and numerous times since when dates just haven't worked out.

Image Credit: Mail Online [My heart didn't thump with love, my stomach didn't do backflips with excitement, and we didn't throw our arms around one another in delight, writes Jane Brook]

What none of them have known until now is that, at 56, I've never been in love. Not with my ex-husband or with other men since. I've never experienced that feeling of true contentment and completeness in someone else's company, a deep bond and trust that transcends the physical attraction or the initial thrill of a new relationship.

Image Credit: Mail Online [I had convinced myself I must be in love. Now I realise I was just a naive teenager looking for an escape route, writes Jane (pictured at age 16)]

Initially, admitting to this made me feel vulnerable, verging on stupid. But the more I've talked about it – first with friends, and recently with a dating coach – I've realised it's something of a modern malaise. Despite being fed fairy tales about meeting Prince Charming from girlhood, the reality for many women – particularly of my generation – is that true love is exceptionally hard to find.

Is it down to the pressures of our busy lives? Partly. But there's also the fact that many of my generation were encouraged to do as our mothers did: marry, have children and run the home without a thought to our own happiness. I've never experienced that feeling of true contentment and completeness in someone else's company, Jane Brook admits.

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I was married for 17 years with a good sex life but I didn't love my husband. Now aged 56, I know why... and am revealing the brutal truth I know is so common in marriages: JANE BROOK

I was married for 17 years with a good sex life but I didn't love my husband. Now aged 56, I know why... and am revealing the brutal truth I know is so common in marriages: JANE BROOK

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