‘I’m a single gay man trying for a baby – I will move heaven and earth to make it happen’
‘I’m a single gay man trying for a baby – I will move heaven and earth to make it happen’
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Andrew Swann, a TV director for news and current affairs, always knew he wanted to be a dad. But when his relationship with his boyfriend broke down after four years, he decided to try for a baby on his own. He speaks to Charlotte Cripps. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want my own family. Even in my early twenties, as a gay man before gay marriage was legal, I imagined that I’d probably marry a woman to have a family and then sleep with men on the side. It might not have been the best scenario, but that’s how much I wanted kids. I’d originally had it in my head that I’d like to be a dad by the time I was 40. But here I am at 44 – still trying.
![[‘She wrote a lovely message at the end of her profile saying to the child, ‘If you ever choose to look me up, I’d love to meet you’. That was the dealbreaker for me’]](https://static.independent.co.uk/2025/01/24/11/newFile.jpg)
I first looked into surrogacy as a single person in 2016. I didn’t realise it wasn’t legal then to do it on your own. It wasn’t until 2019 that the law changed to allow single people to become legal parents of children conceived through surrogacy in the UK. By then I’d also met my boyfriend – we were together for four years. From the very start I said to him: “I want to have kids.”.
It was important for me to have my own biological child. My partner was onboard but it was pie in the sky. He lived in Cornwall and me in Kent – and when the pandemic hit, we put it on the backburner. But as we were coming out of lockdown in 2020, I said to him: “Look, I want to pursue surrogacy.” Unfortunately, we split up. It wasn’t because I wanted to try for a baby, but I knew he wasn’t that keen. I just thought: “I’m not prepared to wait any longer [for the right partner], or to have a relationship get in the way of my dream of becoming a parent.” So within a couple of weeks, I decided to do it alone.
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