It's time to stop doing yourself down! Women are terrible at minimising themselves, says this top psychotherapist. Here's how to be MUCH more confident in 2025
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Being humble is often seen as a positive trait. But what happens when this likeable characteristic goes too far?. As women, we are conditioned to always present ourselves as lesser, playing down our achievements and shrinking our personalities so that we take up less space in the world.
Many of us don't even realise we're doing it. But the truth is, this self-minimising behaviour stems from fear. When we deliberately diminish ourselves, we are trying to control how other people feel about us – to prevent them from experiencing jealousy over our accomplishments or from being annoyed by our opinions.
We're scared that, when faced with the unedited, authentic version of ourselves, people might stop liking us. But when you reduce yourself to others, you unwittingly help them to overlook your talents, invalidate your feelings and ignore your needs. In other words, you end up abandoning yourself - which only leaves more room for those unafraid of taking up space to thrive in your place.
As a psychotherapist, I work with countless people who habitually minimise themselves, leaving them with eroded self-esteem, a harsh inner critic and low self-confidence. As a psychotherapist, I work with countless people who habitually minimise themselves, writes ANNA MATHUR.
Now, I want to help you to recognise the signs that you're self-minimising - and show you how you can stop, in order to lead a happier, more fulfilling life. You're catching up with a friend who is interested to know about your work, or your home life. Maybe you've recently had a promotion, or have just got back from a lovely holiday, but you don't want to come across as 'bragging' in case things aren't going as well for them.
