When Lisa Lailey met James Starr as they walked their dogs, it started an appallingly ­abusive relationship that nearly destroyed her. Starr posed as an ex-US Marine but was actually a twisted, controlling fantasist who would cheat her out of £40,000, plunge her into £20,000 debt and drive away her teenage kids. Artist Lisa, 51, who was physically and sexually abused and isolated by the conman, feared for her life.

Last week Starr was jailed for two years by Taunton Crown Court in Somerset after pleading guilty to coercive control and fraud. Lisa, of Yeovil, Somerset, who has battled post-traumatic stress, could have hid away after the verdict but instead is speaking out about coercive control to warn other women about Starr. For five years he used Lisa to pay fake expenses, vowing to pay her back when he started his bogus top job. In 2018, Starr moved in and began his campaign of abuse to break Lisa’s will.

He subjected her to sex up to eight times a day, not caring intercourse aggravated her back pain. His apparently insatiable appetite was fuelled by erectile dysfunction pills she later found in a drawer. He would keep her up all night, sitting on a hard chair, shouting in her face so she obeyed his every demand. A brutal and inhumane ordeal he also forced on her teenage daughter. Lisa said: “When Jim shouted, I feared for my safety. I didn’t think he would just hurt me. He was so unhinged I thought he’d kill me.

“After being kept up all night, I’d agree to anything he said. He would then take me upstairs to the bedroom and expect intercourse. If I showed any reluctance, he would get angry again.”. Starr, 57, would constantly tell Lisa he couldn’t live without her and expect her to say it back. “He said he’d kill himself without me in his life and I believed it. I felt responsible for his life.”. Due to his extreme manipulation, Lisa didn’t see her daughter, who was 17, for 30 months and her 16-year-old son was driven out of her home for seven months. Both are now back home, supporting their mum.

Starr claimed to be an ex-US Marine working in bomb disposal for the American military and often left for days at a time, saying he was working at military bases. He spun heartbreaking stories and showed photos of military personnel he claimed were friends he had lost in battle. They were copies of newspaper photos and the stories were lies. He made a point of befriending veterans locally to add credibility. Police found no trace of any military service. He was just a fantasist in shop-bought combat trousers.

“He was very jealous and cut me off from friends and family. I had to change my email address, landline and mobile numbers due to his ‘security’ needs for his imaginary job. He told me not to speak to my neighbours and not to answer my door. It was constant. “I was totally drained by his behaviour. That’s what coercive control does to you. I was completely isolated, he had total control over me.”.

He would blame Lisa or her kids for his inability to attend his non-existent work due to his exhaustion. Then he claimed he was summoned to meetings with his “boss” and forced Lisa to pay his travel expenses. Lisa gave up her job and nearly sold her home on the back of a promised move to the US, where he said he had been offered a role with a terrorism task force. Many of Lisa’s possessions, including a car, were sold at rock-bottom prices or given away because he said they had to leave in a hurry.

She even bought a wedding dress as Starr claimed he had booked a venue for shortly after their arrival. But Lisa would never get her big day. His aggression increased when he sensed Lisa’s daughter was suspicious of him. To persuade Lisa that she was the cause of their troubles, he used accomplices posing as experts and work colleagues to persuade her that her daughter was “dangerous” and a “security risk” to Starr’s career.

Starr spent a night shouting at the teenager. He then claimed it was her fault that a colleague, who had had to work two days in a row to cover for him, had been killed in an accident. He used the fake tragedy to force her to leave home, implementing strict rules preventing Lisa having any contact with her for 30 months. Lisa pleaded to see her daughter but faced further abuse if she even mentioned her name.

Lisa and her son endured two more years of living under his control before he was also forced to leave. She said: “The worst part was the feeling of losing both my children. I felt unable to protect them. The level of fear and extreme manipulation was beyond comprehension.”. By spring 2021, Lisa was badly in debt. “I couldn’t afford my utility bills, had to cancel the internet and had no phone. I couldn’t afford food.” She finally told Starr she did not want to marry him or move to the States. That March she met her daughter for the first time in two-and-a-half years and then her son, too. “It was the best feeling in the world.”.