The scandalous secrets of private school mums, as revealed by an insider. Yes, the teachers gossip, we always know who's having an affair - and don't get me started on the WAGs
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Attention, please! The bell has rung, class is in session and today's lesson is... drama. This week I had an absolutely glorious (alcohol free!) long lunch with someone who knows everything there is to know about Australia's most elite private schools.
![[The white winers: These mums turn up to school smelling of chardonnay (stock image)]](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2025/01/16/05/94153907-14290473-image-a-38_1737006047556.jpg)
I won't give away their identity, only that they have worked at prestigious institutions and have witnessed some outrageous behaviour at the school gate and beyond. From the white wine mums who 'turn into strippers' at school functions, to the greenie 'welly boot brigade' endlessly whingeing in group chats about 'nude foods' (yes, it is a thing), no one escapes my snitch's spotlight.
![[The WhatsApp warriors: For many mums there's nothing worse than the class group chat (stock image)]](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2025/01/16/05/94152971-14290473-image-a-35_1737005963416.jpg)
But before we dive in, let me be crystal clear: every mum is a superhero, even the ones who misbehave from time to time. Whether you're juggling a full-time job, doing it alone, or simply trying to survive the school run, there are no bad mums in my book.
![[The 'nude food' mums won't hesitate to let another mother know if they think their lunchbox is unhealthy (stock image)]](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2025/01/16/05/94152975-14290473-image-m-37_1737005996627.jpg)
Now, with that disclaimer out of the way, it's story time. So switch off Netflix, grab yourself a KeepCup and settle in, because this roll call is too juicy to miss. From WhatsApp whiners to the elusive 'ghost mum' no one knew existed until Year 12 and the activewear MILFs on the prowl for single dads... which group do you fit into?.
Amanda Goff had a glorious long lunch with a private school insider who spilled the beans on the nine types of mums all the teachers gossip about. If you think your boozy lunch is going unnoticed, you should have broken your no-carbs rule and had that bread roll to line your stomach.
