Hilaria reveals her husband asks himself: 'Why am I still here?' after death of Halyna Hutchins. Alec Baldwin and his wife Hilaria open up about the post-traumatic stress the actor suffered as a result of the accidental shooting on the set of Rust in the first episode of their new reality show The Baldwins.
"Everyone who is close to Alec has seen his mental health decline," she says. "He was diagnosed with PTSD and he says, in his darkest moments, 'If an accident had to have happened on this day, why am I still here? Why couldn’t it be me?'". Speaking directly to her husband, she says: "You wake up in the morning and you're like, 'Oh God, why did I have to wake up?' You’re so dark and it's so painful.".
The 30 Rock actor responds: "My good friend said to me the other day, he said, 'How are you doing?' and I said, 'I'm happier when I'm asleep than when I'm awake.'". He also tells Hilaria: "I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you and these kids going through this. I never would’ve made it with this. Sometimes I ask, 'Why did we have seven kids?' To help carry me and you through this situation.".
Elsewhere in the episode, Hilaria hits back at the criticism she’s faced for her “fake” Spanish accent. Back in 2020, Hilaria was accused of faking her Spanish heritage, prompting her to later confirm that while she was born in Boston — under the name Hillary Haward-Thomas — she spent a lot of her childhood in Spain, where her family still lives.
However, she’s now made it clear that she won’t let the controversy about her heritage get to her. “I love English, I also love Spanish, and when I mix the two it doesn't make me inauthentic, and when I mix the two, that makes me normal,” she says while being interviewed for The Baldwins.
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