I stumbled across my wife's Pornhub search history and it's broken me. She told me it's 'just a fantasy lots of women have' but now I fear I'll never be enough: SAUCY SECRETS

Dear Jana,. I'm beginning to feel a little… unhinged. I'm a happily (I think?) married woman with two children, but the other night I had an extremely vivid sex dream about my ex. We always had good chemistry, and those closest to me know that I always say he's the best I've ever had, so it's left me a little disappointed with how my future sex life has panned out.

It's fine with my husband, but not the fireworks like I had with my ex. Now, I can't stop thinking about him. It's like the dream unlocked something in my brain I'd tried to bury for the sake of a happy marriage. I found myself deep-diving his Instagram to see if he's married (he's on private) and I even drove by his house. It's like I'm on a mission to see if he's available, even though I'm obviously not.

I love my husband, and I don't actually want to be with my ex, but I've got this niggling feeling that if an opportunity came up to sleep with him again, I would take it in a heartbeat. Why am I suddenly obsessed? And how do I snap out of it before I do something truly regrettable, like reach out to him? Help this horny housewife out.

Anonymous. This week, Mail+ columnist Jana Hocking helps out a man who spied his wife's Pornhub history and now fears he'll never be enough. Okay, Miss Anonymous. We all like to take a horny walk down memory lane from time to time. And sure, the heart quickens at the thought of running into an ex on a particularly good hair day.

Come to think of it, there's one ex in particular my mind likes to turn to on a quiet night alone. But we've got to slam the brakes somewhere. Where's the line? It's not at Instagram stalking; we all do that. But I must say, driving past his house is beginning to sound like a red flag flapping in the wind.

Maybe you do it once? Fine. You can chalk it up to 'oh, it was on my way anyway'. But if you're doing it more than that, well… I'm hearing sirens. Police ones. What you've got here is a classic case of Nostalgia Horn. You know, when your brain conveniently edits out all the boring bits, the times he finished in two pumps or couldn't get it up, the blazing rows, and instead leaves you will nothing but your ex's Greatest Hits album. Which, in your case, is a highlight reel of his bedroom triumphs.

Sure, sex with your husband might feel a little routine, and the chaos of raising kids isn't exactly great for the libido. But that's a marriage. I can't relate personally, but I have plenty of friends who assure me married life isn't all glitz and glamour.

Yes, hot sex with someone who knows what they're doing is fun. But also remember the times when they didn't text back, or when you understood they were emotionally unavailable, or when they did that thing that made you realise 'this isn't my person'. Jana Hocking explains that women are curious creatures by habit when it comes to what they look at online.

If your memory wants to play the highlights, just take a moment and remember the full game. You'll realise that it ended for a reason. Suddenly, your 'dull' married-with-kids life looks pretty damn good by comparison, doesn't it?. The good news is, you don't need to go back to your ex to get that earth-shattering orgasm. You just need to shake things up.

Pack the kids off to their grandparents or a friend's house. Book a hotel (a fancy one your younger self couldn't afford), buy some sexy lingerie, take yourselves out for dinner, get a little tipsy and then get it on like Donkey Kong. Tell him you want it to be a weekend of trying new things. Explore each other. One weekend is all it could take for you to give your life the sexy jumpstart it needs – and you can't tell me your husband won't be chuffed to take part either.

Spend a little time reliving your youth, while also remembering the blessings you've got waiting for you at home, and before you know it, you'll be wondering… what ex?. Actually, also make a list of the reasons why you broke up. It's always handy to have it on hand when the mind takes you to a place best left in the past.

Go get yourself a saucy weekend. You deserve it. Last year, I met a professional footballer when his team was in my hometown for a game. I knew he had a partner and child, so I asked about them, and he told me his relationship was over and she'd left him a few weeks earlier.

I didn't overthink it, and we had an amazing one-night stand. Now, out of nowhere, he's found me on Instagram and started messaging me again. But I can see his partner is still clearly in the picture. He keeps sliding into my DMs and dropping hints we should 'catch up' like last time.

I know technically he's the one in a relationship, not me, so I guess I'm asking if I'm in the wrong for considering it?. Am I morally obligated to do the right thing, even though I'm single. The sex was amazing and I would love to catch up for some fun, and I have no plans on telling anyone so no one would get hurt. But I can't help wondering if karma would come back and bite me.